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So even without the eet Nikolai out of my place, out of my sanctuary I couldn't let myself think about what any of it meant

“Where did you go just now?” Nikolai asked

I responded with a shake of my head because I had absolutely no desire to talk about it

But Nikolai either didn’t notice nore it Since the ured it was the latter because he simply said, “You loved her”

I kept my eyes on the cars as I nodded andI had to fahteen, I was no longer the state’s problem There was some kind of screith et a new one I saw it as an opportunity"

“To be reborn"

Nikolai's comment was more of a statement than a question

"Yeah," I said “Patricia changed my life Sheher last nae to her, you know?"

"But it was ested

"Yeah, it was"

Nikolai rested his head on et it, Jude She was soht of her as a mother"

It took several long seconds for ht of it sooner so I could have asked her if it was okay to use her name I mean, it seemed like she cared about me and she didn’t have any family of her own but—"

"She would've been honored, Jude," Nikolai interrupted His lips skimmed my shoulder before he added, "Don't ever doubt that"