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Tears of frustration stung the backs of my eyes All I wanted to do was sleep Just closeto do and yet I couldn't h to do soive in to my body's exhaustion

The need to crawl out of an to jerk involuntarily

Just as the tears of frustration that I couldn’t control anyan to slide down my cheeks, I felt the bed dip behind h me because I knehat that dip meant

"I'm sorry, Nikolai," I croaked "I'll try to be quieter"

I waited for Nikolai to speak, to askbody pressed up against the back ofquestions at me, Nikolai’s soft lips coasted over the shell of my ear When he did finally speak, the words that cament or frustration

He didn’t say the words I’d been hearing my entire life like “Get control of yourself, Jude” or “Why can’t you just be normal, Jude?”

No, what he said orse

So much worse

Chapter 17

Nikolai

"It's okay, Jude, I've got you," I whispered into Jude’s ear as I pulled his body back against mine

I'd been listening to him toss and turn for over an hour and had just assuht’s events But the more he'd shifted around in the bed, the more anxious he'd seemed to become I’d told myself just to leave him alone to settle, but then I’d heard theto keep to himself

At that point I’d given up on trying to pretend it wasn'tand everything about Jude was my problem Just because I was supposed to remain detached from him didn’t mean I could I would have probably had an easier ti