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God, I’d really fucked things up My brain had been going a ht and I hadn't been able to cals that ever worked to settle one

Working out was one of theh of that to wear outany kind of impact on my brain That had left option number two

Sex

Anonys, hard, hot sex

I would've liked to say that Nikolai's presence hadn’t had any io out, but in reality, it'd had everything to do with it He was quickly beco the cause of the endless bouts of crazywhen I was around theabout where he was or if he was okay When he was onhim on my ass Or in it, rather

I'd been besieged by endless fantasies of hilass of ainst my belly as he pressedhe was going to do to me in my ear I was completely helpless and at his mercy And my mind was blissfully quiet and focused on him

Only him

But there’d been no hard fuck on top of rowing knowledge that Nikolai thought I was nothingmy body to swindle an old man out of an inheritance and a job I'd told ht of me, but I hadn't been able to convince myself of it

So the anxiety, frustration, and helplessness had built and built until I’d finally hit on the idea of going to the club and letting so out un to sink intothe world start to fall away By the tiinally better and hadn't been as desperate for an actual hookup as I'd been when I'd arrived

Everyone in that club had ceased to exist except for me and Nikolai I'd wanted him to see me To see how I moved To see a side of me that no one else knew about I’d secretly wanted hiht questions But , I’d wanted him to jointo give him

Every piece of me

Even if it’d all be just a te run, I'd wanted it as badly as my next breath

The problelanced at Nikolai and had noticed all the guys watching him I doubted he'd even realized how much attention had been focused on him His eyes had been onin his expression and I'd felt that scattering in ain

As much as I'd wanted to believe that Nikolai could be that release for me, I'd had to face reality So I’d focused on the men in my immediate vicinity that I could have and had settled on a cute little twink I hadn’t recognized But theman, the more I'd focused on the one I couldn't have When I’d looked again at Nikolai, I'd seen hiel, a very undiscri after what he wanted Thehis hands on Nikolai had made me sick toback Maybe if it hadn't, I wouldn't have been so willing to allow myself to be pulled away frouy who didn't believe in the word “no”

I foundfor ers were on my neck when the driver opened the door and the inside of the vehicle lit up Nikolai's eyes were like ice as he watched me, then he was out of the car I felt cold and eotten in, he'd still been holding rab onto as I got out of the vehicle In fact, Nikolai see's entrance