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Caleb reached for the package He had his back to me, but I didn’t miss his next words

“Sno Balls,” he whispered

I’d bought the treats to put a s

And I knew this time it wasn’t about his father and the terrible events of the

“Why?” Caleb cried between sobs He turned to face ers

But I didn’t have an answer for him

I was completely clueless to understand why I had to keep hio, either All I kneas that I was a piece of shit for doing this to hiotten hiain at Christmas later that year I’d been a selfish asshole who’d wanted to relish how good being around hi around And I’d done it again the previous hen I’d all but forced him to come with me after the attack at the cabin

He would have been safe with Mav and Memphis and his extended family back home, but I’d selfishly wanted the old Caleb back I’d wanted to be the one who made him feel safe and warm and protected I’d wanted to benefit froh I’d wanted to have a little bit of that rightness back in my life that I’d only ever felt around him

When I didn’t answer hiet out “It hurts worse”

His words sliced me open The fact that my actions could hurt hih was threatening to make me violently ill

“I need to go home,” he said, his voice an odd mix of hurt and resolve

I needed to agree with hio I needed to find the words to tell hi able to keep s better for hiain was strangling me

There were a lot of things I needed to do, but I didn’t do any of the and I didn’t tell him it was okay and that I was sorry No, what can of my complete and utter desperation… and my cruelty

“I need to cash in led and I wondered if I’d even said them out loud I knew I must have when Caleb’s eyes ide He backed up several steps until his back hit the wall next to the steps leading above deck

I didn’t stop until I had hi wood I clasped his face with my hands I searched his eyes for fear, but there was none