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I let my hand settle on Ethan’s back while I closed the other over the one he had resting over ht onheld down, even by soht as Ethan, would have been too

And kissing Ethan…well, there was just no equal to that I hadn’t lied when I’d told him that ender wasn’t the issue…it was that one person could hold such power overattracted to a man, but I suspected one to hell formy sexuality It was true that I hadn’t been attracted to any boys in irls either My fucked-up childhood even before the attack had given me a perception on love and relationships that wasn’t really all that healthy and that I hadn’t wanted to emulate The attack had just sealed the deal

“I grew up in a ston in Kentucky My er and raduation I caetting bad until my sister, Hailey, was born I was six I only re,her flowers By the tis were clearer”

“He was nine years younger than you, right?”

“Yeah,” I said, not surprised that Ethan rees “My dad was really possessive ofher way up the corporate ladder at work, he seerow more and more resentful I never saw him actually hit her until I was ten I tried to stop it, but my father told me to stay out of it My mother told me to take my brother and sister to my room It never made sense to me,” I said softly

“What didn’t?” Ethan prodded when I got too lost in the past

“How they could yell and scream at each other like that and then the next day they couldn’t keep their hands off each other Even with my mother covered in bruises, she’d just melt into his would be fine again until it all started over again”

I felt Ethan start to rub small circles into my chest and I wished I’d had the sense to takedoith him

“I noticed as I got older that my dad seemed er out on any of us Even if we did so So his best to pretend we didn’t exist I once asked him why he’d even had us if he didn’t want us around”

“What did he say?” Ethan asked

“He didn’t answerto stop hi after her when she yelled at me one day to mind my own business…that I couldn’t understand how ed for hts with them and to protect my brothers and sisters from them, I escaped…found any excuse I could not to couilty for it, but I couldn’t just watch him do that to her…and watch her take it,” I said softly

I let in to roam up and down Ethan’s back as the ht of his hand as he continued to caress rounded

“A few months after I turned fifteen, h that someone called the cops My dad wasn’t arrested, but the cops , but I tried to talk ht iveness She looked atit My dad came back about a week later, but he was different…really different,” I said

“How?”

“There was no hts if dinner wasn’t on the table on tiot spilled He started paying attention to me and my brothers and sisters I was suspicious at first”