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I’d always assury But I didn’t feel abandoned, even if I was still unhappy with hoe’d parted Derrick didn’t have a choice here I, however, did, and I spentover what to do, the choice he’d left me with

“You’re cranky” Mo to stand next to me “You need a distraction”

“A distraction?” Frowning, I leaned back against the deck rail

“So to take your mind off the wait,” Mom said patiently like I hadn’t tried every ne on h the way-too-quiet nights

“I sew,” Stacey volunteered

“I tiled two bathrooer’s wife, Veronica

Oh I was in this club now, partners left in li of exactly hoaiting was, and I wasn’t sure I wanted membership Or advice

“I don’t need a new hobby” I crossed my arms “I’ve had several new contracts the last feeeks Work keeps me busy”

What I didn’t have, however, was a Derrick to share all that neith, and no a my hands busy could help with that

“It’s okay to admit you’re sad and that you miss him” Stacey patted my tense shoulder “But he wouldn’t want you all cranky”

Wouldn’t he? That was an excellent question, one I didn’t have an answer to Derrick had put up with me cranky at family camp, had seemed to understand my bad moods in relation to my family and never tried to jolly iven me permission to move on He clearly assu myself so miserable? Perversely, his lack of faith in my ability to stick it out made me that much more determined But it didn’t make me any less cranky

“I bet you had a nice drive up at least” Stacey nabbed a fresh drink from the cooler

“Eh Car needed exercise” Driving alone had only re with Derrick was But maybe Stacey had a point in that I could try to find joy in the few things I got to do for hi the car to his standards, getting it ready for the drive here, and I had felt close to hi to a playlist I’d made for him prior to his deployet over , I lad he trusted me with the car”