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“That’s because you’ve only known me for the past year I used to be aJavier He didn’t say it, but I knew that hat he meant

“What were you like?”

“I guess I was just…lighter I didn’t take things so seriously, and life seemed uncomplicated”

I said, “So, that’s how you were able to tolerate the party-boy roommate in West Hollywood”

“Mostly He’d bring hoot on h, I think I was just jealous that he was so free and open with his sexuality”

“And you weren’t?”

He shook his head “Not even a little It took a crush on my best friend Ren to finally admit to myself I was bisexual Even then, I didn’t act on it until much later, when I met Javier”

“Why do you think that is?”

“In part, it was a question of self-acceptance I thought I kneho I was, and changing that definition wasn’t easy But there was also the fear of losing the love ofCatholic family”

I asked, “What happened when you finally came out?”

“My aunts and uncles and both ofto me, but several of my cousins were okay with it My mother was somewhere in the middle”

“You never talk about her”

“It’s a sore subject,” he said “We used to be close, but our relationship changed after I came out She didn’t disowns have been aard between us ever since”

“Did she ever meet Javier?”

He shook his head “I asked her repeatedly to come visit us in Mexico City I even offered to buy her a plane ticket and put her up in a nice hotel if she didn’t want to stay with us, but she always made excuses I also asked Javier to come with me to Florida so we could visit her, but he totally refused He was so stubborn He said he wasn’t going to travel all that way to meet someone who didn’t wholeheartedly accept him”

“When was the last time you saw her?”

“It’s been three years, and I feel guilty about that At first, it was because Javier was sick and I had to take care of hi her It was already tooher disapproval to the mix We do talk on the phone once a month or so, but it’s very superficial”

“What part of Florida is she in?”