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AIf the pain didn’t indicate it, the taste does Joel’s abuse is constant, I’m surprised my skin hasn’t adapted to it and created an extra protective layer This is all my fault, because I want out

For two years I have been at the violent hands of the man I once called my lover Joel Carrell was the ave my body, heart and soul to But, when s that once made me feel special turned dark and violent

The way he toldto captivating Not the kind that makes you feel whole or desired, but the kind that makes you sick or afraid—the kind that holds you captive like a prisoner The kind thatto lose my life at the hands of the man I once loved

I try to grasp s and reach for the coffee table in front of rab it and try to push myself up I’ve almost made it to my feet when I feel the fa contact withmore and this time I don’t taste blood from just my lip, but also from my throat

Joel’s kick is unyielding, causingout onto the white fluffy rug The one we bought together, the one I got a black eye over, because e brought it home to his apartment and laid it down, I wasn’t sure it ith the decor Maybe I’lutton for pain since I can’t seem to silence my stubborn mouth

“Please stop I won’t leave you, we can go to Seattle together,” I cry out,out of my nearly swollen shut lips

I had planned to leave histon, daydreaston when he told me to wait until he caetting hurt, I wanted to keep my best friend safe Another reason I deserve this

“I love it when you beg, bitch” Another kick followed by ain, the burn slowly yet painfully spreading down my spine

“You smell like another man, you ith him, weren’t you whore!” he yells I watch in slow s it down hard, slaht under s to buckle As he delivers another punch to ut, his eyes dark and lifeless, I think to myself ill this be over?

I keep praying that this next bloill be the end, that my life will be taken so I don’t have to feel another one—the agony that palpable, the pain that vicious, my heart that broken

“I ith Shayla and Kingston,” I lie, bringingfist My lie being a half truth, I was really with Kingston I left to go see hiether in bedlove

I ston begged me to leave Joel and move without him, to be with him His words sounded like a slice of heaven There was surety in his every promise

“You weren’t I drove by and Shayla and Trey were outside on the porchwhere were you, Lana?” Thrustinghe finally releasesI take deep breaths, gaining back my hushed voice

“I don’t want you around that cunt Shayla or those two fucks I see the way they look at you I should call right now and have e He haswatched

“Joel, baby I’et this please,” I croak outfrom a fresh knife