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Prologue

Charlie (“Chase”) Rhodes

IT’S funny hohen you’re a kid you think you have it all figured out You think you knoho you’re going to be when you grow up, what you’re going to do And yet, you can’t actually see yourself as a grown-up Ishit we think we’ll never say and doing shit we think we’ll never do

When I think back to how many times I said I’d never do this and I’d never say that, I want to cringe Because you knohat? I do all of it now

Just thisthe kids off to school and they were fighting with each other over who got to hold a spatula—yeah, I know—I told the to each other No, really, I did This was o wait for me in the car And I don’t want to hear you say a word to each other! Do you understand me?” U

It was only a step above my useful “Because I said so” conversations “Why do I have to eat the peas? I hate peas” And I’e too, kid Still don’t love theo to bed so I can eat ice creaht from the carton But what I say is, “Because I said so, Bobby Now eat your peas”

So, yeah, I’ all the things I never thought I’d say But you know the really crazy part about it? I’ure happiness like this needs to be documented

Thankfully, the PTA was selling these scrapbooks as a fundraiser last fall Because when I decided to become a suburban housewife, I was told there were two requireina I was fucked on the second one, obviously Iwhite jeans better than some trophy wives with the ina? Thanks, but no thanks I’m pretty attached to my dick But I’ve always been creative; hell, I was a dancer and choreographer for years, so I was sure I could zigzag scissor and star-stamp just about anybody under the table

So here I a—a ti off the bender froht before, and instead, I’ht-yellow kitchen, at the round wooden table I got at this a antique store that opens only one weekend a month and I’m always there when the doors open, like clockwork Anyway, I’ar-free, extra-caffeine (okay, I’ up the last one, but don’t you wish it was an option) latte, and I’ The life I never knew I alanted

Confused? Well, hopefully I can help clear it up for you Oh, and don’t freak out about flashbacks, okay? Think of itto end, with a little bit of narration in the

Chapter 1

INTRODUCTION

Charlie (“Chase”) Rhodes

THE first time I saw Scott Boone, I knew the bisexual label I’d been trying on for size in ay It wasn’t a total shocker or anything I’d asked hth birthday By the ti Head I actually wanted was a straight shot to strange looks and “Shh, he’s walking up” conversations, so I asked forBarbie toy I actually wanted and hid it in my closet Someone should put that story on Urban Dictionary as an exaress

Scott Boone was everything I wasn’t He was tall, broad-chested, athletic, überbutch, right-handed Again with the digression

Anywho, I was a scrawny fifteen-year-old, sitting in my bedroom in my mother’s second-story Brooklyn apartHead, which I’d dyed an ah with furniture pull up out front and the uy I’d ever seen hop out

I can’t say for sure, but I think Ia boner Because, here’s the deal: it was summer in the city, so it was hot as acutoff jeans, Pu else I alet my camera so I could snap a picture of the wet-drea