Page 27 (1/2)

Chapter 1

The worst part of life as a human is that I’: s, at night When I’ a shower Even when I sleep, I drea an eternity locked up in a base person and duct tape is over youryour personal journal and they’re bringing up every e you can do about it You’re in handcuffs and they just keep talking

For once, I would just like to shut off ive all my worldly possessions for the ability to spend an entire sixty seconds in a private, no thinking moment Because then I wouldn’t have to listen toforced to show love and affection to a hbor’s obnoxious Pomeranian I wouldn’t have to think about how all arten field day participation sticker

I punch at the worn button onoverly stupid and allowing the painful grip of self-loathing to close too tightly around my neck My life isn’t bad It’s perfectly acceptable Good, even I’m just not happy And I can’t help that, or make excuses for it I am not happy It is what it is

Grandma’s voice pushes itself into hway in front of me as I remember how her voice sounded, all raspy and worn from a life of hard work If she could hear me now, see me now, in this state of apathetic numbness, she’d smile, but it would look like a frown fro She’d wrap an arm around my shoulders and pull s you take for granted are what so for”

My index fingers dru Music blastsinto the inside of my lip It’s been nine years since my seventeenth birthday when ured out by noas supposed to be an adult, with a real education and not so My brother was supposed to be a lawyer Hell, he was supposed to be alive My future was all shiny and bright, with a real career and a husband and kids I was going to h school sweetheart A painful luht of him, and I s it down Then I turn the radio up even louder I will not think of Kris Payne

I’h inlot of Carson’s Gyure out a way to install a toggle switch on the back of my neck, where half the time I could have it in the norhts—barab er seat

Susan presses a ylass of red wine, custoraain,” she says, taking a long gulp of her favorite liquid “Your shift starts at seven, and it always has”

“I’ behind the e door at the front desk I drop e clothes, ignoring her rant about how I need to live ym

I aye clothes Nor because I’ve known her forever and she’s old enough to be asister I never had She gives irlfriends are fairly stupid But I haven’t told her why I’ve been getting to work two hours early every day for the last week

Because she’ll want to talk about it, and I don’t want to talk about it About how I’ve been dating the nicest, most educated and successful man I’ve ever dated for over a year now and yet I’ht shift and he uses the house key I should have never given him to come in my house and crawl into bed next to me

He doesn’t do anything wrong He’s sweet and he’s caring and I’m just an asshole I need time to myself without hi I have to teach an aerobics dance class at the gyy because there is no aerobics dance class at this tia

My phone buzzes at three forty-five in theit’s probablyloves , I take e When I sit up in my chair—a cushiony fake leather monstrosity that should be behind an attorney’s desk instead of at the gyhs at me

“Good , Sunshine”