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Chapter 1

I can’t believe I’ this It’s not like h she totally deserved it To haphazardly shove the contents ofand storirlfriend from Jersey

But I did it, and I can’t go back now

Although I will probably have to go back one day Sooner, not later Because I left ed in the kitchen outlet

And even thoughfour hours down the interstate, sporadically bursting into tears while trying to remember the directions to Dad’s house, I still feel like a rebel who’s so far gone I’

It’s the first day of sue at seventeen, and I’ve already been kicked out ofMom’s Fiancé a Worthless Douche

Seems to me, it shouldn’t be a crime if it’s the truth

I pass the gas station with a giant statue of a gorilla perched on the roof, pointing like the North Star to their lo gas and cigarette prices, but also to the exit for Mixon, Texas Population: soits that I can’t make out because I drive by too fast

I haven’t seen my dad in two years Not since the Fourth of July disaster of ninth grade, when I thought it would be a good idea to bring Mom to Dad’s annual Independence Day barbeque bash with his neife, Molly It turned out to be one ofaway

Dad and Molly had a new house built next to the h I don’t know exactly where it is, I figure it won’t be too hard to find Mixon Motocross Park is right off the ht pointed on a faded old piece of painted plywood Erass fields surround both sides of the track, so I won’t need to use ure out that a new house next door is probably Dad and Molly’s

It’s dark when I finally h the potholed county road on the outskirts of Mixon The neo-story behemoth of a house next door to the track makes my jaw drop It’s as if my dad showed the contractor a photo of his old crap hole of a house and told him to build a new house that was the exact opposite in every way

I park in the u-shaped part of the driveway – the place for visitors – and shut off the engine The radio goes quiet, but the beating of rip the steering wheel and I wonder what the hell I’od Why am I here? This is so stupid And ht of what I’n driveway really starts to sink in Suddenly I know exactly how those actors are pretending to feel in anxiety commercials

But I don’t have anyto drive four hours back to Dallas with s, mainly because I’ive Mom the satisfaction I suck it up and approach the front door like a big girl

The doorbell is warh the curtains as someone comes to answer the door and e Co deal that I’ up unannounced around nine PM on a weekday

Totally not a big deal The door opens and I’m face-to-face not with my dad, but with some pre-teen kid

“Hana?” The door opens wider and this short little shirtless kid whose abs look like a body builder’s throws his arms around me

“Teig?” I pat hiet a closer look at him He does look a lot like my half-brother, only a foot taller, super tan and weirdly muscular

“Dude,” I say, grabbing a handful of his shaggy hair “You look way too old to be thirteen I want my scrawny little brother back”

“This girl at the track the other day said I was hot, and she thought I was fifteen or sixteen,” he says, completely too proud of himself He squeezes his fists in front of his chest and flexes his muscles I’ve only seen him in person maybe two dozen times in his life, but suddenly I have this weird irls

Dad’s voice calls fro lets me inside and calls out, “Come see for yourself”

I stand on the white marble tile in the foyer, hands clasped behind ernails as I wait for Dad’s reaction when he seesin the same hyper-speed voice I remember from the last time I saw him on his eleventh birthday Dad’s heavy footsteps bound down the stairs with Molly’s petite ones trailing behind him

“Surprise!” Teig says, sweeping his arame show

Dad’s expression goes from surprise to confusion to concern in about two seconds “Hana?” He rushes toward lances out the front , perhaps looking for a police car or a okay?”

“Yeah,” I say casually, trying to diffuse his unnecessary stress “I’m fine”