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Chapter 1

THE FIST comes towardinto e can, and a few seconds later the blond guy’s load hits uy’s boots scuff cigarette butts, condoms, and wads of mucky leaves as he stalks toward the back door of the bar, cursing me out

I didn’t peg hi able to hit quite that hard when I chose hiot outside I realized he was about ht—six feet or so Must’ve been the paisley shirt Fucking paisley made him look like a wuss I definitely ripped off a button or then I shoved him to his knees in front of me, but he didn’t seem to mind Didn’tpast his light hair to the dark brick behind hi to pretend I was so pushed ahen he asked h, and he sure as hell ot

My jaw gives a throb and my breath finally comes effortlessly But it won’t last It never does

My vision’s blurry, but that’s probablydesperately to hold on to the cal but the feel of another man When my mind starts to wander to his firh toen Fox until I can relax a little

The calht, though, and the catch inis back, like I can’t quite inhale fully Because I knohat’s waiting forAn e heartbeat throbs in the bruise e on my jaw

Worse, I’ve sobered up on the walk froo to work in the , the htly at the waist, taking a deep breath with , to distract fro in on ht bench The fa on cheap carpet helps a bit I lift until my muscles shake and h to let me fall asleep But I’m usually not

The second I flop onto the bed, still da behind uy from earlier, but it could’ve been any of the of whiskey and revulsion Theirback even though the thoughts make me squirm

I GET to Big Jenny’s Dive around nine to h school football The guys on the tea a black kid from North Philly who loved hair metal instead of rap, and since I loved it too, we spentabout Poison, Mötley Crüe, Def Leppard (which Xavier contended was only pop metal but I worshipped), Twisted Sister, Van Halen, and, of course, since they were from Philly, Cinderella We’d replace Nas and Goodie Mob with Quiet Riot in the locker rooot in the showers, posing and roughhousing; then we’d crack up as they were stuck doing so naked to the soundtrack of “Cum On Feel the Noize”

X left for a few years to get his MBA and we lost touch While he was in North Carolina, he got married and cleaned up a bit Not that he had ever been intoa little pot when he’d needed the et theh More focused He put it down to his wife, Angela I never got the whole story, but I think she basically told hirow the fuck up Angela doesn’t like me Xavier denies it, but I know it’s true

We s to watch two cover bands battle it out, playing hits frohties, and nineties How loud the audience sings along acts as an applause-o-ets free drinks for the week Cover band night ree when Pop still worked at the other shop,on the steps into the kitchen watching