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Chapter One

Joey

Today is brought to you by the letter B and the word Balls

That’s the best five letter description of the day I’ The clock started as soon as I stuan eyeful in the process that may have scarred me for life

An eyeful of Marine balls

I guess five days is the liives out and things get freaky outside of the bedrooh the walls God help them if they finally decide to become parents

They’ll appreciate Uncle Joey then

After calling a car to drivea ride with my embarrassed brother-in-law, I found the painters already hard at work, and the lifestyle reporter lying in wait, two hours early for our scheduled interview and arraphies

She’s sitting across from me in the only finished office that has furniture The walls are a soothing light blue-grey Spring Thaw, I think they call it There’s a cluttered desk I’ve been using for work calls, a few chairs, andtrampoline I pushed that into the corner in the hopes she’d think it was some weird piece of pricey, modern art

I’ve seen stranger things in galleries

I should have rescheduled when the place looked et the keys toin

Leona—the blonde, suspiciously s interviewer—starts out exactly the way I expect her to, with several softball introductory questions like, how did I like the city so far and do I have any pets Then she dives deeper

“How did Joey Redo from afterschool babysitter to an under-thirty millionaire and owner of one the encies on the West Coast?”