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“He said only that he wanted you to spend one year in New York and during that tirandht she was still alive; I think he meant for you to see if you could find out where she went after she left her fah records himself and see if he could find out what happened to her, but he…”

“He didn’t have ti the lawyer to frown, for she sounded bitter “So now I am to search for her in his place?”

The lawyer cleared his throat nervously, wondering how soon he could politely leave “I don’t think he literally meant search, I think he was afraid you’d stay here in this house alone and see no one I think he thought that since your one there would be no one left on his side of the family except his mother, if she’s still alive, that is, so…” He trailed off

Samantha looked away froive away nothing of what she was feeling Pain—betrayal—as deep as hers was not soht nohat she wanted most was to be alone She wanted this man to leave her house, wanted hiain When the house was empty, she wanted to crawl into a warain How h and still survive?

Pulling a ring of keys from his pocket, the attorney put them on the desk “These are the keys to your father’s apart to take an early retirement and move to New York so that he could search for hiswas ready, but then he decided to go for a checkup and…and the cancer was found”

When Samantha didn’t turn around, the attorney backed toward the door “Saain, I am sorry about Dave I loved the man and I know you did too And, however it may seem now, he loved you too He loved you very much and he wanted the best for you, so I’m sure that whatever he did, he did for love of you” He was talking too fast and he knew it Maybe he ought to offer her soive her a shoulder to cry on, but the truth was he didn’t want to hear about pain such as Sa He felt sorry for the kid—so many deaths in such a short life, but he didn’t offer her a shoulder He wanted to go ho wife, and leave this house forever Maybe Dave was right to have sold it, maybe there were so many bad memories here that only abandonment would clear them away

“I’ the papers for the apart up “The landlord will give you the keys to the outer door when you get there, and here, on the floor, I left the box of your grands”

As he put his hand on the knob of the front door, he felt rather like a runner dying for the starting gun to sound so he could get away “If you need anything else, please let me know Samantha?”

She nodded, but she didn’t turn around when she heard him leave Instead, she continued to look out at the leafless yard behind her father’s house But not his house anyht that so a few times to clear her vision, she realized she now had ninety days in which to vacate her childhood home

Turning, she looked at the packet of papers on her father’s desk—the desk that now belonged to someone else She was tempted to walk away from the entire deal She could support herself; when it came to that, she very well knew that she could support another person too, but if she didn’t do what her father wanted, she would lose all the money he’d left, money from the sale of the house and the money he had saved for years as well as the money he’d inherited from his father She knew that if she were careful, the money she’d inherit would make her financially independent for the rest of her life, and she could live where she wanted, do what she wanted to do

But for some reason, her father h

ad decided that before she could have thethroughsome trace of a woranddaughter, was eight months old The woman had left behind a husband who adored her, a son who loved her, a daughter-in-laho hter ould someday need her desperately

Turning, Saht and for a h theBut the impulse was short-lived, and carefully, slowly, she put the rock back on the desk If her father wanted her to try to find his mother, then that is what Sa exactly what he wanted for years?

She started to leave the roo at the door, she turned back, picked up the old-fashioned hatbox her father had left her, the one he had said contained all his mother’s effects, and carried it upstairs with her She felt no curiosity about the box, no desire to look inside it In fact, Samantha was sure that, all in all, it was better not to think about anything, better not to reht now she had a great deal of packing to do

1

New York

April 1991

Fifteen minutes after Samantha Elliot landed in New York, her wallet was stolen She kneas her own fault, because she had reached inside her purse to get a tissue and forgotten to close the zipper, so all the thief had to do was slip his or her hand inside and reone, as well as h to put a hundred and fifty dollars in her carryon, so she wasn’t destitute

After she discovered the theft, she had the brand-new learning experience of canceling her credit cards To Sa to the big, bad city of New York for the first ti to cancel her charge cards To the bored young wos that happened fifty ti Samantha forms to fill out, she pointed to a wall chart with the credit card companies’ telephone numbers on them and told her to call theed to crack her gum, polish her nails, talk to her boyfriend on the phone, and tell her colleague what she wanted for lunch, all at the sa woman about her lost wallet, tried to tell her that the wallet had belonged to herprinted hat her father had called a psychedelic design But the woave Samantha a blank look and said, “Yeah, sure” If the woence to do several tasks at the saht from the blank expression in her eyes that she was terminally stupid

By the tiot away from the lost articles departlass-fronted roouard to open it—no mean feat, because no one she spoke to kneho had the key to the room In fact, no one seemed to know the locked room even existed

By the ti behind her on a wheeled cart, her carryon slung over her shoulder, she was shaking with exhaustion and frustration

Now all she had to do was get a taxi, the first taxi she had ridden in in her life, and get into the city

Thirty minutes later, she was inside the dirtiest autoarette sht be sick, but when she tried to roll down the , she found that both of the inside handles of the doors wereShe would have spoken to the driver, but his name on the paper under the meter seemed to be spelled lish