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Chapter One

Wanda was crying Bobby was sitting across fro like he wanted to cry We just buried one of our best friends, so I had been fighting back the tears all day, because I had never known pain Not like this

I don’t have much family to speak of; it’s just me and my mother Her father died when she was six, and herSo, I never lost anybody that was close to me, never lost anybody that I loved, never lost family … until now

Vickie was ster shit we do for money Vickie was my sister and this shit hurts like a mutha fucka because I killed her

How could I have been so fuckin’ stupid? I don’t care how fucked up I was, the second I openedthere, I should have snatched that bag up and locked it in my safe But I didn’t If I had, Vickie would still be alive, Wanda wouldn’t be crying, and I wouldn’t have to fuckin’ feel this way

Now, I aonna accusea man with sensitivity, but over the last few days I’ve run the gauilt, but mostly what I feel is pain Pain because I killed her I was in shock when I kicked in the door and found her I re numb at first, and then disorientated because I couldn’t believe it was happening

That didn’t last long because it very quickly turned to rage and anger at myself because I killed Vickie I called Andre and he called his police and they took care of everything

Since it happened, everybody has been telling me that it’s not my fault, but I can’t accept that They say Vickie was on a path of self-destruction and there was nothing I could have done That’s bullshit! All I had to do is put the fuckin’ dope away and I wouldn’t have to feel this guilt

And neither would Wanda

I looked over at Wanda, she hadn’t stopped crying, so I ine what she ht now As close as me and Bobby are, that’s how close she and Vickie were She was her best friend I know if somebody took Bobby from me, I’d wanna kill them

But she can’t, because it’s me that took her

Wanda buried her head in ainst mine