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WHEN A BOY’S FIRST ROMANTIC interlude is with Phoebe the Dog-Faced Girl, he feels a need to get out into the world and find a new life So I thought as I stood in the wings and watched Colonel Kingston introduce the next act Not that I had anything against Phoebe She was a sweet girl under all that fur “Oh, Abel,” she whispered prettily whenever I brushed her lips with mine, and perhaps she blushed—who could tell?—but I was seventeen and yearned to kiss ahair up my nose

Out on the stage, Orlando the Magnificent, star illusionist of the Faeryland 1899 Review, requested a volunteer fro overcoat rose to his feet ahter from the crowd I smiled He was my uncle Jack

Orlando bowed his turbaned head to the volunteer as if he were a stranger and beckoned thesleeves of his satin robes to shihts

I wish there were other girls ht as Uncle Jack lay down in a long, coffinlike box on a platfor There were older, unmarried ladies, of course, but none of the h, I admit, when I was fourteen years old, Miss Makepeace, the A Rubber Woman, came pretty darn close Anyway, how could a boy take a few liberties in a home where everyone knew his business?

Uncle Jack disappeared fro “Ethiopian” assistant closed the lid A head appeared through one end of the box and feet out the other, and Orlando reached into his starry case of tricks and pulled out a large saw There were a few groans and titters fro a-person-in-half trick aforward to this

The expected sawing began, accompanied by the usual banter At one point the “victim” let out a cry, which was echoed by a few delicate and susceptible ladies in the audience, who then laughed along with their friends to cover their embarrassment When the saw had coe to help pull apart the box and show the halves separate—toes wiggling fro frorinned, not put off at all by the lukewarm response

As was predictable, the box halves were rejoined, the ician waved his arms and incanted a spell, the box was opened, and the ain there was polite applause and knowing laughter

The volunteer smiled, waved at the audience, and headed for the steps, accompanied by cheers and bravos, but halfway there he stopped and frowned He tottered to the left He tottered to the right The audience hushed He cried out, toppled over—and split apart at the waist His legs scurried off in one direction, and his body crawled off in the other, dragged by his arms

Gasps and screams filled the air People rose to their feet An old man fled up the aisle toward the back doors At least three ladies slumped, willy-nilly, sideways in their seats as friends and fa as the torso reached me

“That was great, Papa!” I said “Really great!”

“Yes Perfect,” rinned “But we’d better put them out of their misery quick”

He stripped off the doctored overcoat to reveal the evening clothes beneath, carefully tailored and pinned, for he had no legs whatsoever He trotted back out onstage on his hands in tiet, noith the trouser waist rolled down to reveal his head Soh the rear curtains einal volunteer, e of my father, for he was his twin

Someone hooted as the joke dawned on him, another joined in, and soon the auditorium echoed with thunderous applause I put my arms around the boy assistants, who stood to either side of nificent, wasn’t it, lads?” I said

In the dressing rooston clapped my father on the back and almost knocked him off the wooden stool where he perched, swaddled in his cut-down dressing gown “Wonderful idea, Andrew! Absolutely wonderful”