Page 114 (1/2)

Dear Misha,

So, have I ever told you my secret shame?

And no, it’s not watching Teen Mom like you Go ahead and try to deny it I know you don’t have to sit there with your sister, h to watch TV by herself

No, actually, it’s far worse, and I’ative feelings should be released Just once, right?

You see, there’s a girl at school You know the kind Cheerleader, popular, gets everything she wants… I hate to ado I wanted to be her

Part of me still does

You would absolutely hate her She’s everything we can’t stand Mean, cavalier, superficial… The kind who doesn’t have a thought stay in her head too long or else she needs a nap, right? I’ve always been fascinated with her, though

And don’t roll your eyes at me I can feel it

It’s just that…given all of her detestable attributes, she’s never alone You know?

I kind of envy that Okay, I really envy that

It feels like shit to be alone To be in a place full of people and feel like they don’t want you there To feel like you’re at a party you weren’t invited to No one even knows your name No one wants to No one cares

Are they laughing at you? Talking about you? Are they sneering at you like their perfect world would be soup their view?

Are they just wishing you’d get the hint already and leave?

I feel like that a lot

I know it’s pathetic to want a place a other people, and I know you’ll say it’s better to stand alone and be right than stand in a crowd and be wrong, but I still feel that need all the time Do you ever feel it?

I wonder if the cheerleader feels it When the one and she doesn’t have anyone to entertain herself with? When she re off her brave face for the day, do the de with her when there’s no one else to play with?

I guess not Narcissists don’t have insecurities, right?