Page 5 (1/2)

Prologue

Maolden when she cries Not like reen or brown, but a h when I was just shy of ten years old and saying goodbye to aze was speckled with emeralds just like Daddy’s

But Daddy wasn’t at Lo’s funeral Not when the pastor spoke the eulogy to the half-empty church, or when the slow toll of cars paced the streets to the cemetery, or even when they lowered the kid-sized white coffin into the ground Mama and I watched every step of the way Her eyes trained on the half of her heart sinking into the dark soil, never to be seen again, whilefor Daddy’s familiar face to appear

Looking back now, Lo had suspected the end of our parent’s s and left She always knew it’d end that way

I wondered what else she knew

Ma I won’t notice how they glisten in the fluorescent lighting of the drab white roo will be fine But the weak attempts of comfort would roll off her tense shoulders in disbelief

When Lo was diagnosed with lupus it was too late to save her The disease had eaten away at every piece of her—body, skin, and organs Nothe disease, it couldn’t be fought

Logan died in her sleep

Everything was different now Mas she bla in the past—the sunburns, constant napping, and aches Despite Granduilty over the unknown, Mama’s eyes dull into ean

They do the saan Olivia Matterson was my twin Every feature on our fair faces were identical, down to the button nose and full lips We shared the saot froht Lo’s were prettier

Ma for me, but I see her break apart a little ust afternoon we laid Lo to rest There were no clouds or gray skies to match theof our broken hearts It was beautiful Peaceful Birds were quiet, the breeze was light, and the sun kissed our skin in coht rainbow in the distance, and I kneas Lo’s last gift to me because it hadn’t rained in days

Ma composure next to me makes the too-clean roo it as the doctor with salt and pepper hair explains the results from the labs they ran last week

Counting the little brown freckles speckled across Mama’s hand, I take a deep breath

The doctor’s words fade until silence greets the roo, Emery?” His voice is deep and ato pinpoint nition

I just wish he’d call an liked Lo But the doctor keeps calling ed her name after Daddy left She’s Ms Keller now

Does the doctor see a scared little girl when he studies me? Or does he see what’s behind the mask I wear—the one I wear every day The veryMa sad The one that covers an from the mantle to ease Mama’s heartbreak a little more All the pictures of Lo litter the room I once shared with my twin, stuffed away inthe bookshelf, anywhere she won’t see them

I doubt the doctor sees that girl at all though So, I lie and tell him I understand He can interpret my bleak distance any way he wants I just stare at Ma a second tear slide down her flushed cheek at my reply

It’ll be okay, Mama

I don’t dare breathe the words