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“Nothing gold can stay”

—Robert Frost

MY DAD ALWAYS SAID THAT both the best and worst things in life are unexpected They’re the e your life indefinitely, and even if you see the, you’re never prepared for the impact It’s what you do in the afterood fortune—that defines you

It’s safe to say I failed miserably in that department

The needle prickser into my mouth I peer down at my dad’s old jean jacket, every surface full of colorful patches from his favorite bands Social D Pennywise Rancid NOFX The list goes on I cut the too-long sleeves off on a whi to sew on my sleeves and hood fro it todesperately to catch a whiff of his scent I haven’t worn it or washed it, afraid I would lose the smell forever, but I think now—one

Most days, I’rief is so potent it feels like it was yesterday

“Allison!”

I pull one of the headphones away fro up at her expectantly from my bed

“I know it’s your birthday and I’m supposed to let you call the shots, but are you sure you don’t want to do anything? I have a sushi date tonight You could join us?”

I roll hteenth birthday withfood I hate

“I’ood”

I see the relief flash in her eyes, but she conceals it quickly She doesn’t really want o to dinner, but hoould that look if she didn’t at least inviteoff the doorfra it under my pillow

“You should go out Call Courtney and Maddison” She reaches a slender hand out to twirl a strand of ers

I laugh bitterly I haven’t been friends with those girls since fresh else mattered but boys and parties “Okay, Mom,” I say just to pacify her

“Good I’ If Snow White and Willie Nelson had a love child, it would result in ically beautiful, soft-spoken, and charismatic Her sgest pothead I know Flighty Self-absorbed, yet so contradiction

I pullthe conversation Once she leaves, I flip my phone over to see a voicemail from my dad Shit, I must not have heard hi the phone to my ear

“Alllllliisonnnnn,” he greets in the tune of Elvis Costello’s fa The one he serenadesthe whole song this time I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday This is also your daily reminder to try to be nice to your mother It’s not her fault the weed has started to turn her brain”