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ONE

LARRY VIRGIL IS a lanky, grease-stained guy in his forties He lives alone in the back room of his auto body shop on Baker Street in north Trenton, and he hasn’t cut his hair in at least ten years For all I know that was also the last ti toowith testicles tattooed on his forehead I suppose it ood tattoo, and I prefer to think it’s a hot dog

None of this would be any of ht Virgil hijacking an eighteen-wheeler filled with cases of preil was arrested and subsequently bonded out by il failed to appear for his court appearance a week ago, and Vinnie isn’t happy If Virgil isn’t brought back into the system in a timely fashion, Vinnie will lose his bond money

My naraduate with virtually no marketable skills, so for the past several years I’ve been tracking down Vinnie’s skips What I lack in expertise I et paid when I catch someone

It was ten o’clock at night in h for me to need a sweatshirt over il’s three-bay garage, hoping to catch hi I ith e for over two hours, andout of boredom

“This isn’t going anywhere,” I said to Lula “He isn’t answering his phone, and there aren’t any lights on in the building”

Lula is a former ’ho who Vinnie hired as a file clerk a while back When files went digital he didn’t have the guts to fire her, so now Lula shows up every day for work and pretty s with me She’s shorter than I am She packs a lot more bodacious voluptuousness into her clothes than I do Her hair is currently pink Her skin is always brown Her attitude is “Say what?”

I’th eable curly brown hair that’s usually pulled into a ponytail, and I’ve been told I look a little like Julia Roberts when she played a hooker in Pretty Woht?

“My personal opinion is that this loser skipped town,” Lula said “It’s not like he got family here And we’re not lookin’ at sooes out is to hijack a truck, and he got a crimp put in that activity”

Lights flashed at the cross street, and an eighteen-wheeler chugged toward us and parked in front of the lot attached to the garage The lot was enclosed by a six-foot-high chain-link fence topped with razor wire A ate He fiddled with the lock and the gate swung open

“It’s hi bedazzled purse and rooting around in it looking for her gun “It’s that punk-ass Larry Virgil I told you he’d be back I got a gun in here soun”

“We don’t need guns,” I said “He’s not known for being aret inside, and then we’ll sneak in and slap the cuffs on him”

“I got it,” Lula said “I got o!”

“Not yet,” I said

Too late Lula was out fro across the road, waving her gun and yelling, “Bond enforcement!”

Virgil went deer in the headlights for a moment, and in the next moment he bolted for the corner with Lula in pursuit Even in the dark of night I could see that Lula was running flat-out in her spike-heeled Via Spigas

“Stop or I’ll shoot you dead,” Lula yelled to Virgil

I was running behind Lula, trying to close in on her “Don’t you dare shoot hi!”

Virgil crossed the street and ran back toward the garage He reached Lula’s red Firebird, wrenched the door open, jumped in, and took off

“He got ot my baby! And my purse is in there too I personally bedazzled that purse It was one of a kind And it got all my makeup in there”

“Guess you left the key in the ignition,” I said, gasping for air, coside Lula

“And you told me not to shoot him,” Lula said “This is all your fault If I put some holes in him this would never have happened”