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He stalks over to lare "Five o’clock toritted teeth "Trainin’ starts If you’re not ready, I’ll kick down the door and drag you out of bed myself"
I watch, h the living room, and disappears
"What about your meat loaf?" I holler after him
My only answer is the sound of his slammed apartment door
TEN
"I can’t believe that was really Ca door reverberates through uys at the club--they’ll totally flip out Epic"
Becausewords like epic to describe a two-er is par for the course Pretty reith in our slish language, as do their parents, who practice yoga and get Botox and eat disgusting things like kale salads and generally act as if aging is so that only happens to people less in tune with the healing energy of the cos off the oven because the ?" My father scoffs "He’s like, the athlete of all athletes! How do you not know this, honey?"
"Because I hate organized sports and everyone who plays organized sports and would rather burnto do with organized sports"
My father thinks for a moment "Yes, I recall when your sister was on the volleyball and swio to any of her ht Because inevitably I’d be stared at by people co and be forced to spend hours suffering through whispered comments behind hands such as, That can’t really be Jacqueline’s sister! Was she adopted?
Pushing away the vile , "Please tell hs "He’s way more famous than Michael Jordan! He’s basically the ley jumps up onto the chair Calass of wine
Thenina breath
"Holy cow Joellen how could you not tellthat is crazy and you have hioodness wait till I tell Cindy she’ll die"
"You’re forbidden fro anyone, Mom, especially that blabbermouth Cindy! It’ll be all over Twitter within half an hour!"
She ignorestheeous in person as he is in photos? Is he really as muscular as he looks on TV? What about his hair? Does he have good ha--"
"Mother Focus He’s a person, not a sex object"
The sound of the receiver being tapped against a wall comes over the line, followed by my mother’s sarcastic voice "I’ht I just heard or, the sex object to end all sex objects, is not a sex object"
For some bizarre reason, I feel a little defensive of the Mountain "He’s actually pretty sot an ah and relent "Okay, fine Yes, he’s ood hair Satisfied?"
"No, I’ht I’d hear myself speak these words, Mother, but I think you’re overdue for some sexy ti to irlfriends" tone that drives me up a wall "I’ll tell you what, sweetie, your father is in for soo at the thought of Cao now My ue" Her shiver of delight is audible "And a sense of humor, too!"
"What did he say that was funny?"
"That you tere in love!"
"Oh, that Yeah, he’s a real laugh astrikes hs "Oh, honey! As if a man like that could fall in love with you!"