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I didn’t mean for it to sound like a dismissal, like a decision had been made by a committee that he’d performed well under pressure but should now be on his way, but somehow it did He flinched a little, slouched lower in his chair

A minute passed in silence Then Jackson cleared his throat "You’re staying here tonight?"

I hadn’t thought about it, but the moment the words were out of his mouth I kneanted to do exactly that "Yes," I said, strangely relieved

He nodded His jaas set My engageht and reflected it around the kitchen in a ine a more aardI can do? Anything you need?"

When I said no, he visibly deflated

"Okay," he answered quietly "Then I’ll justI guess I’ll just go"

I couldn’t look at hio? Did I want hi anymore, only that it was hard to catch ht shatter into a thousand tiny pieces

He stood "Call e of sorrow, like he already kneouldn’t

He kissed the top of ly there, then gone Then he walked slowly to the front door, his shoulders slumped in a way I’d never seen before When I heard the door open, s filled with breath, as if I were about to shout, but then the door closed, and I was left alone in silence, the awful reality of the day settling intohowled It exactly matched the sound inside my head

That day passed Heartless how the sun has the nerve to rise and set and rise again, witness to sowith no idea where I was I bolted upright on the sofa, staring around the small parlor in confusion, in lare of sun streah the curtains Then I re looked different without Mama in the world Evenhad extinguished in my eyes

I couldn’t eat but desperately needed coffee I , my nerves were so shredded

"Hello?"

"Bianca," said the Colonel, sobbing "Oh, Bianca, tell me it isn’t true!"

I closed ainst the wall "I can’t believe it, either It’s i to a s in the world Their tears see than female tears Maybe because they so infrequently shed them

"Was it a heart attack?" the Colonel asked, his voice choked with shock

"I don’t know She didn’t want an autopsy, so on’t know the exact cause of death, but the chemo was really hard on her syste cancer," I whispered "She’s been on cheery on Wednesday"

The Colonel’s sh ht she had the flu!"