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"I loved you, Ca That’s true And yes, you were up front fro the rules I have equal responsibility for this debacle, but just because Ito punishto make my child suffer for my stupidity I’d tell you to have a nice life, but so to be possible because you’re far too content toin yourit behind her It wasn’t until she got outside the front entrance that she remembered she hadn’t asked the cabbie to wait and now she was stranded at this daley, will you allowthere, his eyes soft with sympathy It was the last straw She burst into tears and then allowed hi car
Twenty
Cam sank into the chair behind his desk and buried his face in his hands
He’d followed Pippa out the door and seen that John was giving her a ride hohts disappearing in the distance
For how long he stood there, numb, he didn’t know He realized the door was still open and the wind had picked up A chill had stolen over him but he kneasn’t the te and yet dead He had been for a long tiut clenched His chest ached It shouldn’t He should be relieved It was done There was no possible way for Pippa to misunderstand
Clean break He’d done exactly what he should have done fro
So why didn’t he feel vindicated? Relieved, even? He should be glad He could go back to his unemotional existence where he didn’t have to feel pain
Only none of that was true He hurt now He hurt so damn much that he couldn’t breathe around the knot in his throat
He’d lost Pippa
The very thing he’d tried to protect himself from was the pain of loss The despair and frustration of not being able to keep a loved one safe was his reality Right here, right now
He’d lost Pippa He’d lost his son
His son
An innocent, precious life
A child who deserved to have the world at his feet Two parents who loved him A father who’d protect him from all the hurts and disappointments life had to offer
Oh, God, he was a bastard He was such an unfeelingOnly he wasn’t unfeeling Right now he’d give anything not to be able to feel this agony
Seeing Pippa tonight and the evidence of just ho he’d brought her down made him want to die She’d stood before him, pain in her eyes, and yet she’d still put herself out there She’d taken a chance Laid it all out
And he’d slapped her down because he was afraid
It was hu to realize just what a coward he was What a coward he had been for so long
He’d been given so others wished for, would kill for, would live every single day of their life in gratitude for
A second chance
Another chance at so so special and wonderful
Pippa was a breath of fresh air into a life he’d quit living He went through thetied all that From the moment he’d first seen her walk into a roo to his senses
Her shter, her take-no-prisoners attitude Her confidence Her inner beauty And her courage
When he really stopped to consider just how much she’d had to shoulder alone these past few , had plans She could have anyone and yet she’d chosen hi the best of a difficult situation
She’d fought fiercely, was still fighting fiercely for his son He was so damn proud of her and so damn ashamed of himself that he couldn’t bear to think about it
He didn’t deserve her She was right about that
But he wanted her Oh, God, he wanted her
It was laughable that he’d actually thought that he could spare hi hi the door on a relationship with Pippa
He’d been so worried about losing her that the very thing he feared the ation!
Stupid didn’t even begin to cover it
He pushed upward froitated and more determined than he’d ever been in his life
He loved her, damn it
He’d lied to himself and to her He’d spouted all kinds of crap about not wanting to love her Yeah, he hadn’t wanted to but he did and that wasn’t going to change
And now he had to crawl on hands and knees and beg her to give him yet another chance
He hurried out of his office and through the kitchen to the garage He yanked the keys fro any consideration to how he looked or hoas dressed, he cli back to the da to her apart This couldn’t wait He couldn’t wait
Sos needed to be done immediately, and this was one of the another dae for her to come to his house and face him down, tell him she loved him and ith her heart on her sleeve
How could he not do the sa and yet the easiest thing he’d ever do Because when faced with the alternative of living his life without her and their son? Crawling didn’t seeed into her apart to hold off the tears Her eyes were swollen and scratchy She was heartsick and numb from head to toe
She felt…lost Like she wasn’t sure what came next There was such finality to her confrontation with Cam What was she supposed to do?
She sank onto the couch, tossed her purse onto the coffee table and closed her eyes Her head throbbed She needed sleep At least there, she could escape for a while and not feel so horrible