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"Mrs J, I’rateful look

The clock ticked on the wall

"So," she said "Dad and Mrs J I like it"

"There’s nothing to like, you wretched child," the housekeeper uilty secret is safe with me But let me tell you, if I’d been Faith, you’d be packed into the back of her car, on your way to a justice of the peace this very minute And Jack would be dead on the floor of a heart attack"

"My poor Jackie," Mrs J said Honor rolled her eyes

"Anyway,on a date Mrs J, would you watch Spike?"

"Of course Where is the little baby now? And why did you nairl’s naar-Paws"

"Or Hyacinth," Dad said It was Mrs Johnson’s first na at the housekeeper with a dopey sht and walked out to her car

Last fall, Dad had decided to start datingsort ofbut after a few failed attele (they all thought; she was a ma), and she’d been with the family since Mom died

But a romance between the two of the on that wall, Honor had h Certainly, Mrs Johnson was a wonderful (if terrifying) person She took good care of Dad and all his kids Certainly, she knew all of them inside out and out

It was nice to picture her father with someone Not so alone anymore He’d always had her, of course, which was a little pathetic when she put it like that But still They’d always been two single people alone together

A surprisingly strong band of loneliness tightened around Honor’s chest If Dad and Mrs Johnson became a couple, where would that leave her? She’d have towith the needs, sneaking Bugles into her roo as she watched I Didn’t Know I Had a Parasite

All the , the eggs said We want to be fertilized

"You have a point," Honorher car If Dad could find a honey, surely she could, too eCommitment had recently cole search had revealed (thank you, Faith) So Droog it was

See? She was trying Really hard She did need to get a life, and not just because Dad o, Dana e out Honor had been out of town on a sales trip to Poughkeepsie and had only responded to say so Then yesterday, Brogan left ahe was back froht, Honor had a panic attack, abruptly terrified that she’d die in this bed where she’d slept most of her life, and Dad, not the , and Spike would chew off the tip of her nose for food, which would mean closed casket, definitely This pleasant little fantasy had led her to visiting OnYourOwncoh profiles of sper a little further She’d soothed herself by s she needed to do for the Black and White Ball, which was only auntil 3:00 am

"Mom?" she said as she drove out of town "I could use a little help finding a ul would be nice

"HONOR?"

Honor’s head snapped around Oh Oh, dear "Droog?"

"Yes How luffly you look," he said He grabbed her by the shoulders and leaned in to kiss her (eep!) She leaned back as far as possible, which caused his lips fall on her chin, where they stayed for a horribly longNice to e on first i was lucky, in other words

They were in theheaded up the Science and Engineering depart in front of her bore little rese in the eCo his na with repetition) No, his photo had apparently involved Glamour Shots, a spray tan and(there it was again) looked ten years older and was considerably whiter Also, he carried a purse Not a cool, battered leather satchel, but a purse that Honor had been eyeing last week at Macy’s

"Coe Oe"

"You know, I think I’ll drivesweat froet hoht as she followed hirow on her After all, hadn’t she loved the Count on Sesame Street? Perhaps his narrow face would be ht And she herself was no supermodel

She wondered if he could see hi, she told herself He couldn’t help being Transylvanian or Roarian or whatever it was

She sh hopefully not like a wolverine) as he led the way to the parking lot If nothing else, this date would be practice It had been several years since she’d been on a first date Years

The sound of fegle of girls clustered around a us It was To she dropped her keys Hey, why not actually drop them for authenticity purposes? She did Kicked them under the car a little so she could have le wouldto help He was very tall

"Uht So she should pick them up and not just stand here, hunched over like Quasi only gritty pavement Took a peek Great She’d effectively kicked thee in er kneel Eh heh heh heh"

One! One beegHallo, wohed Busted

"To asked "I vould like you to meet my date, Mees Honor Holland"

She looked up To around that ain," he said

"Heff you iant forehead

Tosport," he said after a beat, and his accent was so ht, had a bit of a chat S, Honor?"

"Um, my car keys," she said