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The fed was finally able to dislodge one ofthe agent in his ain when the state trooper who had broughtarms around mine from behind

“Is my family dead? Tell me!”

“Jeez,” the young fed said, thu his lip “We don’t know, OK? We don’t know yet We can’t get up there because of the fentanyl We have a hazmat team on its way”

I went really nuts then I elbowed the trooper in his ribs and started running for the driveway Then I was tackled by two ent

“Get off me now, or I swear to God, I will shoot all three of you!” I snarled as I writhed and fought theside the driveway I lost it then So My face filled with tears and dust as I sobbed

“Get offcowards,” I said as I wept

“It’s poison up there, Detective,” said one of the troopers, with a Barney Fife twang “I know you want to get to your fa to die”

“I know,” I cried “I want the poison Give me the poison I just want to be with my kids”

CHAPTER 84

I CALMED DOWN AFTER another fewEmily had taken me over to one of the fed SUVs and sat with me in the back I’d melted down emotionally before, but never in front of so many people And still I hadn’t faced it yet Hadn’t faced the unfaceable

The FBI hazmat squad showed up in a fire truck–like vehicle, already wearing their white hooded juear up as well and foll

ow the as I stayed behind them and didn’t hit anyone else

Eent The air filter of the full-face breathing mask had some sort of pine scent in it that made me want to throw up

The agents halted suddenly as souys raised his rifle

“Don’t shoot!” I said through the interior mike when I sahat it was