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you two don’t have to be cruel”

Quinn and Gracie ca me in, and I suddenly felt claustrophobic The four of the up ontold me he wouldn’t helpthe shit out of me

Quinn’s soft hands touched my arm The kindness in her eyes made a lump fill my throat as the same tears in Raven’s eyes spilled out of her blue ones “She’s not trying to be cruel, Jos I swear None of us believed it either when Jet called earlier Flick yelled at hi to play sick jokes like that But then Hawk sent Gracie a picture of Tanner in a hospital bed It is…bad”

“But you told h the wall they had built up around me

There was a weight pressing down onit hard to breathe, and I kneas seconds away fro a full-on panic attack I hadn’t experienced one in years, not since that first tirounded h thepanic aftertrivial

And then he’d made love to me

Or, as he later described it, fucked ood and nice

That was after I’d asked his with him forever After I’d seduced him for the second tiinity I’d done soet his attention back on uys, pretended like once he’d popped ot dick

It was all a lie, though, a ploy to make hiain It worked, but after that last time, he treatedout I was pregnant with Reid had scared the living hell out of h the sa firsthand I wouldn’t use our son to hold on to Tanner I wouldn’t control Reid by giving him ultiuilty if he ever picked his dad over me

I took on the role as single parent, even though I was sure Tanner would have stepped up and helped me raise our child

Looking back on it with hindsight, I sa scared I’d been of being rejected by the ain I didn’t want to go through that over and over again e exchanged diaper bags and car seats at the end of every other weekend and holidays I had been selfish, and noere all paying for it But it was Reid ould suffer the most, and it broke my heart

“We thought he did!” Raven yelled, then visibly forced herself to calht he had, Jos Raider saw him in the truck before it exploded The coroner said there was no way of knoas hen it ca left but ash We never questioned it I don’t knohat happened, or how, but he’s been in Fontana’s godda weeks, and he’s close to death now The doctors aren’t giving hiood odds”

The panic was only increasing with each word out of her mouth I bent in half, my hands on my knees as I tried to suck in a breath He was dead Then he was alive Now he ht actually die

I couldn’t bear it if he died a second time

Raven’s cold hands touched ave me the tiny bit of control I needed to draw infor you,” sheyour na you”