page113 (1/2)
Only to reton would touch me so randomly like that Guilt hitto o to bed early,” I told hi”
“Vi,” he called after me “Wait Let’s talk—”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” I snapped and turned away before he could see my tears “I…I can’t do this, Luca”
“Do what?” he demanded “Live?”
“Cheat on my husband,” I whispered Because that hat it felt like Every ti beside Luca, it felt like I was cheating Like I was being disrespectful to Reton’s memory I shouldn’t want Luca to comfort me I shouldn’t crave his smile or the way his eyes lit up when he looked at me, when the man who had healed one more than a month
“Baby, it’s okay to let ht behindyou’re not ready for I just want to touch you, laugh with you Fucking live life with you beside me”
I turned around and glared up at hiet to live when he didn’t?” I yelled
“Stop asking why!” he shouted back “I don’t know the answer, okay? I don’t know anything except that he entrusted you to me No one else but me Because he kneould love you and that baby just as much if not more than he would have”
“No,” I denied, angrily scrubbing away the tears that dared to fall “He ht have wanted you to take care of me until I snapped out of it after his death, but there is no way he would want me to actually be with you, Luca”
Jaw clenched, he breathed in deeply and let it out like it weighed hiue with you, Vi I hate it when you are mad at me We’re both tired Go to bed, and we’ll talk tomorrow”
Thankful for the reprieve but already dreading ould happen the next day, I went to the guest roorunt fro with his head on the pillows Groaning, I buried my face in my hands
This was such a bad idea I should have known being coht of coe with him for a little while had been too much to resist
It wasn’t as if this was the first ti beside Luca so much In the weeks since he’d walked back into ht My brain knerong, butI felt better when he was beside me My chest didn’t hurt as badly when he was there, and evenseemed to want him to be near
But it rong on so many levels The baby couldn’t possibly want to be around hiine how she beca to her, telling her stories like her daddy used to do
In ton, I’d latched on to the first thing that felt good and held on What I was feeling wasn’t real It couldn’t be It was justwith my emotions and hormones