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Shotgun

I lean back on my front door, hold my coffee cup toin front of me

Flowers, I know It’s not the first thing that people would think to see when they come by here The property where I live, the one I share with other guys from the Men of Valor motorcycle club, is one of those places that they tell you to stay away froe

But that isn’t entirely true We’re good guys, trying to e and have been through soh shit, but we served our ti real men

Ever since I got back from my last deployht that I would be able to call anywhere hoh – once you’ve been in co still soht impossible

But here I am One part of a compound where a dozen or so of us live And I know that there’s nowhere in town I’d rather be

I take a sip of the pitch-black coffee inaround et off to work soon, down to the tattoo parlor, but honestly, I’ to kickother than the paycheck that I’ll be getting at the end of the week

Ask anyback to the real world after you’ve been in the service is awith a certain level of exciteer, and when you have to step back into the real world, nothing else feels like it co you that same thrill

It’s why so roups like the Men of Valor Well, et ht when you’ve been out in the field for so long, and I’ve got to say, I don’t knohat the fuck I would be doing if I didn’t have thewhoever would listen to hanistan As though there weren’t enough of those guys to go around already

Truthfully, though, I have started to feel a little out of it lately Not that I’rateful for the job, or the horoup More that I can’t help but feel there should be soer than this Maybe it’s just because I’ around to spring again, my nana’s favorite time of the year, and she’s been on my mind a lot lately

She was the one who raised me Harriet She was the kind of woman who took no shit, more protective of ht me that I needed to stand up forto be a hell of a lot of people who tried to talk down to me or act like they were better than rown up, but I was just as good as they could ever be

She passed a few years back, and I try not to spend tooabout her if I can avoid it It’s prone to drive me crazy if I’m not careful But she alanted to see ain, how good a husband I would be, how good a father I never really believed her, never felt much draards that side of life, until the last fewshift inside of me

After she passed, I planted tulips all over the front of my yard Her favorite flower, she always kept a few in her slightly battered old vase on the sill above the sink where she would clean up the dishes and huht of her, and it was hard not to smile The colors, the purples, pinks, yellows, reds, have filledof new life