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‘Do you think I did it for the damn money? Well, I didn’t!

I wanted the money for Jem, but that wasn’t the reason I did what you wanted me to do! I did it to show myself—to show you!—that I could be just like all those bloody other woless sex with you—the only kind you like! The only kind you want! I did it so I could -ti you did to htmare time of all—my God, I should have hated you! You were so vile to me, and horrible, and…and…’

She couldn’t go on Couldn’t do anything She had told her terrible, sha secret, the one she shouldn’t tell anyone—anyone at all And she had told it to the very worst person in the world to tell

‘I should have been immune to you,’ she whispered

But she wasn’t She wasn’t immune to him She would never be That was the power he had over her, the power that terrified her

She took a deep, shuddering breath

Looked at hiht at him

‘Just go, Theo,’ she said Her voice was cracking She was cracking Cracking into frago’

But he didn’t go He stepped forward to her again, to where she had shrunk froht have been Greek for idiot—she wasn’t sure Her Greek wasn’t very good any more If so, she wasn’t surprised The word suited her It hat she was An idiot A fool A h her brain, each one breaking her into sments Her tears had stopped now All run out She was just a sodden, dripping mess

Like her life

She heard hiain—the one that probably meant idiot Elithios That hat it sounded like Did he have to keep repeating it? She knew she was that—an idiot Who else but an idiot would have done what she had?

She started to cry again It seemed to be the only rational response in the circumstances

Then Theo’s arainst him, his arms like steel bands around her It made her cry more The tears soaked into his shirt, because there wasn’t anywhere else for thes to her she couldn’t understand Then he slid his arh stool, but he caught her, held her face between his hands

‘Idiot,’ he said, in English this tiht myself a clever ht in front of aze searched hers ‘This,’ he said

He kissed her War time Then his lips left her mouth and kissed her eyes