page30 (1/2)

It wasn’t what West said that shocked her, it was his detached expression, and the way one corner of his ant s her with a sardonic stranger

All the feelings of warmth and connection had been an illusion He hadn’the’d said All he had wanted was to prove that she still had physical needs, and he’d succeeded spectacularly, hu her in the process

Her first intimacy with a ame to him

Oh, she felt so foolish

“I hope we’ve learned our lesson,” heit even worse

Soed to cover her hurt and fury with a stony façade “Indeed,” she replied curtly, unable to look at hih perhaps not the lesson you thought you were teaching” She yanked her bodice into place and straightened her skirts, and nearly leaped away like a startled doe as he moved to help her “I require no more assistance”

West stepped back at once He waited silently as she finished putting herself in order “Phoebe—” he began, his voice softer than before

“Thank you, Mr Ravenel,” she said, ignoring the weakness of her legs as she strode to the door They were no longer on a first-naain “The afternoon was most instructive” She let herself out of the study and closed the door with great care, even though she longed to slam it

Chapter 19

On the surface, dinner that night—the last gathering before the Challons departed in theand subsequent visit had been a great success, deepening the acquaintance between the two fa the way for more interactions in the future

For all the enjoyht as well have spent it in a eon The effort to appear nor He couldn’t help but marvel inwardly at Phoebe, as perfectly co Her self-control was forave him no more than thecolanced at hihed politely at so his

It’s for the best, West had told himself a thousand tiht decision to make her hate him In the moments after her climax, as he’d cradled her in his arainst his, he’d been on the verge of pouring out everything he thought and felt for her Even now, it terrified hiht have said Instead he’d deliberately e himself with her

Now there would be no expectations, no longing, no hope on either side Now he didn’t have to fear that he o to her in awould go back to the way it was He would find a way to forget her The world was full of women

Years would pass, while he and Phoebe led separate lives She would marry and have more children She would have the life she deserved

Unfortunately, so would he

After an abysht of broken sleep, West awakened with a lump of ice in his stoine on his chest Slowly he went through the rituals that began everyHe was too numb to feel the heat of the towel he used to soften his beard before shaving As he passed the unmade bed, he was tempted to climb back into it, fully clothed

Enough of this, he told hi He would go about his day as usual, starting with breakfast The sideboard would be laden with broiled chops, eggs, rashers of bacon and ham, potatoes hashed with herbs and fried in butter, bread puddings each in its own puddle of sauce, a platter of crisp radishes and pickles on ice, dishes of stewed fruit from the orchard topped with fresh cream—

The thought of food washim nauseous

West paced, sat, stood and paced some more, and finally stopped at the ith his forehead pressed against a cool pane of glass His rooe house, where vehicles and horses were being readied to take the Challons to the estate’s private railway halt

He couldn’t let Phoebe leave like this, hating his should be left between them, but not this way

He thought of what Pandora had told hi, that she didn’t feel she deserved tobetter than having so you don’t deserve,” he’d replied

What a flippant ass he’d been Now he understood the terrible risk and pain of wanting someone far above your reach

West went downstairs to the study, where the books he had shown Phoebe yesterday had been arranged in stacks on the table Sorting through the volumes, he found the one he wanted and pulled it out He sat at the table and reached for a pen and inkwell

Fifteen minutes later, he headed back upstairs with the book in hand He didn’t stop until he had reached the threshold of Phoebe’s roo, a trunk lid banging on the floor He heard Phoebe’s muffled voice as she spoke to her maid

His heart was thrashing like a caged lark Gingerly he knocked at the door The sounds inside the room stopped