page96 (1/2)

Maybe he’s right, Ayla thought, snuggling down beside hi in me now She smiled A baby like Durc, to cuddle and nurse, and take care of, a baby that would be part Jondalar

But ill help uish She recalled her difficult previous pregnancy, her brush with death during delivery Without Iza, I wouldn’t be alive And if I did e to have a baby alone, how could I hunt and take care of a baby? What if I got hurt, or killed? Who would take care of my baby then? He’d die, all alone

I can’t have another baby now! She bolted up What if one has been started? What should I do? Iza’s rows on oak, and there is no oak here But there are several plants that ork—I’ll have to think about it It could be dangerous, but better to lose the baby now, than lose him to some hyena after he’s born

“Is anything wrong, Ayla?” Jondalar asked, reaching up to cup a full firm breast, because he knew he could and that made him want to

She leaned into his hand, re”

He smiled, recalled his deep satisfaction, and felt renewed stirrings Soon, he thought I think she has Haduma’s touch!

She saarmth and desire in his blue eyes Maybe he’ll want toback Then her sain, one could start Maybe I should take Iza’s secret medicine, the one she said not to mention to anyone

She reolden thread and root of antelope sage—that had such potent ht off theAyla had just learned she was pregnant Iza had not told her about the ht she would ever have a baby, and it hadn’t co toteain I don’t know if it’s spirits or men, but the medicine worked for Iza, and I think I better take it, or Ielse to lose one

I wish I didn’t have to, I wish I could keep it I would like to have a baby fro that he reached up and pulled her down on hied his nose

“Oh, Jondalar! Did that hurt?”

“What do you have in that thing? Ithis nose “What is it?”

“It is … for my totem spirit, so he can find nizes When he has given ns, I keep them in there, too Everyone in the Clan has one Creb said if I lose it, I will die”

“It’s a charm, or an amulet,” he said “Your Clan does understand the mysteries of the spirit world The h not like any I know” His eyes filled with contrition “Ayla, it was norance that made me behave as I did when I first understood who you meant by Clan It was shameful, and I’m sorry”

“Yes, it was shary or hurt anymore You have made me feel … I want to make a courtesy, too For today, for First Rites, I want to say … thank you”

He grinned “I don’t think anyone ever thanked h his eyes were serious “If anyone should say it, I should Thank you, Ayla You don’t knohat an experience you gavefor me since …” He stopped and she saw a frown of pain “ … since Zolena”

“Who is Zolena?”

“Zolena is no ” He lay back down and stared up at the roof of the cave, silent for so long that Ayla did not think he would say any

“She was beautiful then All the ht about her, but none more than I, even before the donii caht my donii ca furs were full of my essence, and my head full of Zolena

“I re a place to here I could watch her I begged the Mother for her But I couldn’t believe it when she came to me It could have been any one of the women, but the only one I wanted was Zolena—oh, hoanted her—and she came to me

“First, I just took e—in ht ht et pleasure froh, if I heldas possible, and made her ready Then I wouldn’t need as much depth, and she could take more

“With Zolena, I didn’t have to worry Yet, she could make men happy ere smaller—she had ways of control, too There wasn’t a man who didn’t want her—and she chose h I was hardly more than a boy