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He thought about the Journey he had o had they left? Three years? That et back Four years of his life gone For no purpose His brother dead Jetamio dead, and the child of Thonolan’s spirit What was left?

Jondalar had struggled to keep his e, but he wiped aetness with his furs, too His tears were not only for his brother, they were for himself: for his loss and sorrow, and for the lost chance that ht have been wonderful

25

Jondalar opened his eyes His dreah walls of the cave seeh the dreas of sleep began to clear, and the walls seemed displaced Then he woke up and realized he had been looking from a different perspective, from the far side of the fireplace

Ayla was gone Two naked ptaran and the covered basket in which she saved loose feathers were beside the hearth; she had been up for some time The cup he custoave the ihtly woven basket in which she steeped hisShe knew he liked to chew the end of a twig to a fibrous bristle and use it to clean his teeth of the coating that accu one ready for hi

He got up and stretched, feeling stiff froround before, but a padding of straw coulddifference to coed the straw regularly, so unpleasant odors did not accumulate

The tea in the pot-basket was hot—she could not have been gone long He poured so to identify which herbs she used each day Mint was one of his favorites and was usually one coht he detected the taste of raspberry leaf, and perhaps alfalfa He took the cup and twig outside with him

Standing at the edge of the shelf facing the valley, he chewed on the twig and watched his stream arc down and water the cliff wall He still wasn’t fully awake His actions were the h, he scrubbed his teeth with the gnawed stick of wood, then swished his mouth out with the tea It was a ritual and always refreshed hi about plans for the day

It wasn’t until he drank the last of the tea that he felt himself flush and his complacency slip away This was not like every other day His actions of the day before had seen to that He was about to throw the tay, then noticed it and held it up, twirling it between his thu about its implications

It had been easy to fall into the habit of letting her take care of hirace He never had to ask, she anticipated his wishes The tas a good exaet one, peeled it, and put it there for hi it? He recalled that when he was first able to walk down, he had found one for hi was beside his cup, he had been very grateful He still had difficulty with the steep path, then

And the hot tea No matter what time he woke up, hot tea was ready How did she knohen to start it? The first ti, he had been warm in his appreciation When was the last tihtful acts had she done for him so unobtrusively? She never racious with her gifts and her tiated Whenever he offered to help, Ayla seeenuinely expected nothing in return for everything she had done for him

“I gave her worse than nothing,” he said aloud “And even after yesterday …” He held up the twig, gave it a twirl, and pitched it over the edge

He noticed Whinney and the colt in the field, racing around in a large circle, full of high spirits, and he felt a twinge of exciteo! That colt can really run! In a sprint, I think he could outrace his dam!”

“In a sprint, young stallions often do, but not in the long run,” Ayla said, appearing at the top of the path Jondalar spun around, his eyes glowing and his smile full of pride for the colt His enthusiass She had hoped thehorse—not that it mattered anymore

“I ondering where you were,” he said He felt aard in her presence and his smile faded

“I started a fire in the roasting pit earlier, for the ptaran I went to see if it was ready” He doesn’t seeo into the cave Her smile vanished, too

“Ayla,” he called, hurrying after her When she turned back, he didn’t knohat to say “I … uh … I ondering … uh … I’d like to make some tools If you don’t mind, that is I don’t want to use up your flint”

“I do notmore,” she said

“Must be washing down froet some from the source It’s so much better when it’s freshly mined Dalanar mines his from a deposit near his Cave, and everyone knows the quality of Lanzadonii flint”

The enthusiasm returned to his eyes, as it always did when he talked about his craft Droog was like that, Ayla thought He loved tool connected with it She sa’s young son, the one born after they were ave hi the skill; he didn’t even irl

Jondalar noticed her inward look and the hint of a s about, Ayla?” he asked

“Droog He was a toolmaker He used to let me watch him if I was very quiet and didn’t disturb his concentration”

“You can watchyou’d show me the technique you use”

“I a’s are much better than mine”

“Your tools are perfectly serviceable It’s the technique I’d like to see”

Ayla nodded and went into the cave Jondalar waited, and when she didn’t come out immediately, he wondered if she had meant now or later He started in after her just as she was co out, then jumped back so fast that he almost tripped He didn’t want to offend her with an inadvertent touch

Ayla took a breath, straightened her shoulders, and lifted her chin Maybe he couldn’t stand to be near her, but she was not going to let hih She started down the path carrying both ptare bundle wrapped in a hide and tied with a cord

“Letafter her She paused long enough to give his

“The ptar the bundle down on the beach It was just a state for his consent, or at least acknowledgment He was not far off Despite her years of independence, the ways of the Clan still governedelse when afor him

“Of course, go ahead I need to get my implements before I can work the flint,” he said

She carried the plu earlier and lined with rocks The fire was out in the bottom of the pit, but the stones sizzled when she sprinkled drops of water on theht coht them to the stone o

ven She collected coltsfoot for its slightly salty taste; nettles, pigweed, and sprightly wood sorrel for greens; wild onions, garlicky-tasting rae were for flavor Smoke would add its touch of flavor as well, and wood ashes a taste of salt

She stuffed the birds with their own eggs nested in the greens—three eggs in one bird and four in the other She had alrapped grape leaves around the ptarrapes did not grow in the valley She remembered fish was sometimes cooked wrapped in fresh hay, and decided that would work for fowl After the birds were resting in the bottorass on top, then rocks, and covered it all with dirt