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“What if I do?” Thonolan shouted back “What do I have to live for … without Jetaht in his throat, and her name came out with a soft sob
“What did you have to live for before youlife ahead of you New places to go, new things to see Give yourself a chance to meet another woman like Jetamio,” Jondalar pleaded
“You don’t understand You’ve never been in love There is no other woman like Jetamio”
“So you’re going to follow her to the spirit world and dragit, but if the only way to keep his brother alive was to play on his guilt, he’d do it
“No one asked you to follow o home and leave me alone”
“Thonolan, everyone grieves when they lose people they love, but they don’t follow them to the next world”
“Someday it will happen to you, Jondalar Someday you’ll love a woman so much, you’d rather follow her to the world of the spirits than live without her”
“And if it were o off alone? If I had lost someone I loved so much I wanted to die, would you abandon o horief”
Thonolan looked down, then into the troubled blue eyes of his brother “No, I guess I wouldn’t leave you if I thought you were sick to death with grief But you know, Big Brother”—he tried to grin but it was a contortion on his pain-ravaged face—“if I decide to travel for the rest of my life, you don’t have to followSoo hoo, wouldn’t you?”
“Yes, I’d want you to go I want you to go home now Not because you want to, or even because I do You need your own Clave, Thonolan, your family, people you’ve known all your life, who love you”
“You don’t understand That’s one e’re different The Ninth Cave of the Zelandonii is your home, it alill be My home is wherever I want to make it I am just as much Sharamudoi as I ever was Zelandonii I just left my Cave, and people I loved as much as my Zelandonii family That doesn’t mean I don’t wonder if Joharran has any children at his hearth yet, or if Folara has grown up to be as beautiful as I know she will be I’d like to tell Willoo next I still remember how excited I hen he returned fro Re back for everyone? Me, and Folara, and you too And always soo back, Jondalar, take her so beautiful”
The nantbeautiful, Thonolan? Don’t you think Mother wants to see you again?”
“Mother kneasn’t co back She said ‘Good journey’ e left, not ‘Until you return’ It’s you who must have upset her, perhaps more than you upset Marona”
“Why would she be more upset about me than you?”
“I’m the son of Willoht not have liked it, but she understood She understands all her sons—that’s why she made Joharran leader after her She knows Jondalar is a Zelandonii If you made a Journey alone, she’d know you would return—but you left withback I didn’t knohen I left, but I think she did She would want you to return; you’re the son of Dalanar’s hearth”
“What difference does that o They’re friends when they see each other at Sus”
“They may be just friends now, but people still talk about Marthona and Dalanar Their loveremembered, and you are all she has to remind her, the son born to his hearth His spirit, too Everyone knows that; you look sothere She knew it, and so do you Proo back someday, Brother”
Jondalar was uneasy about such a promise Whether he continued to travel with his brother or decided to return without hi as he made no commitment either way, he felt he could still have both A promise to return implied that his brother would not be with him
“Promise me, Jondalar”
What reasonable objection could he o home—someday”
“After all, Big Brother,” Thonolan said with a smile, “someone has to tell them we made it to the end of the Great Mother River I won’t be there, so you’ll have to”
“Why won’t you be there? You could come with me”
“I think the Mother would have taken ed Her I know I can’t make you understand, but I know She will coo”