page19 (1/2)

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Another day spent wandering the city with the angel, another drea at the foot of my bed, and I awoke finally - after all these years - to understand what Joshua must have felt, at least at tiain that he was the son of man, born of a woe that made him different Now, since I' the earth as doing so two thousand years ago, I have an acute sense of what it is to be unique, to be the one and only It's lonely That's why Joshua went into thosein the company of the creature

Last night I drea to someone in the room while I slept In the dream I heard him say, "Maybe it would be best just to kill him when he finishes Snap his neck, shove hih, there wasn't the least bit of el's voice On the contrary, he sounded very forlorn That's how I knoas a dream

I never thought I'd be happy to get back to the h the snow for half the day, the dank stone walls and dark hallere as welco as a warmly lit hearth Half of the rice we had collected as alms was immediately boiled, then packed into ba, then half of the root vegetables were stored ahile the rest were packed into satchels along with some salt and h time to chase the chill out of our limbs by the cook fires, then Gaspar had us take up the cylinders and the satchels and he led us out into the mountains I had never noticed when the other e of secretso much food And with all this food, one, why had Joshua and I been training for this by fasting?

Traveling higher into the mountains was actually easier for a while, as the snow had been blown off the trail It e carazed and the snow drifted that the going beca a trail through the snow

As we clihly conditioned monks had to stop frequently to catch their breaths At the sas as if they weren't there That there was not enough air to breathe, yet the movement of the air would chill our bones, I suppose is ironic, yet I was having a hard ti it even then

I said, "Why couldn't you just go to the rabbis and learn to be the Messiah like everyone else? Do you remember any snow in the story of Moses? No Did the Lord appear to Moses in the form of a snow bank? I don't think so Did Elijah ascend to heaven on a chariot of ice? Nope Did Daniel come forth unharmed from a blizzard? No Our people are about fire, Joshua, not ice I don't remember any snow in all of the Torah The Lord probably doesn't even go to places where it snows This is a huge o home as soon as this is over, and in conclusion, I can't feel

"Daniel didn't come forth from the fire," Joshua said calmly

"Well, who can blame him, it was probably warm in there"

"He came forth unharmed from the lion's den," said Josh

"Here," said Gaspar, stopping any further discussion He put down his parcels and sat down

"Where?" I said We were under a low overhang, out of the wind, and mostly out of the snow, but it was hardly what you could call shelter Still, the otherthetheir hands in the h, is the saesture that modern people use for "okay" Makes you think)

"We can't be here There's no here here," I said

"Exactly," said Gaspar "Contemplate that"

So I sat

Joshua and the others seemed impervious to the cold and as frost for of ice crystals that covered the ground and rocks around each of the inside of the off of Gaspar as his daave up its moisture to the chill air When Joshua and I first learned toaround us, connected, but the state that my fellow monks were in noas one of trance, of separation, of exclusion They had each constructed so, while I, quite literally, was freezing to death

"Joshua, I need a little help here," I said, but my friend didn't move a muscle If it weren't for the steady streaht him frozen himself I tapped him on the shoulder, but received no response whatsoever I tried to get the attention of each of the other fourI even pushed Gaspar hard enough to knock hi like a statue of the Buddha that had tumbled from its pedestal Still, as I touched each ofoff of hi to learn how to reach this trance state in time to save e of theirs

At first I arranged theto keep the elbows and knees out of the eyes and yarbles, out of respect and in the spirit of the infinitely co off them was impressive, I found that I could only keep one side ofin the middle, I was able to construct an envelope of comfort that kept the chill at bay Ideally, I could have used a couple of more monks to stretch over the top of my hut to block the wind, but as the Buddha said, life is suffering and all, so I suffered After I heated some tea on Number Seven monk's head and tucked one of the cylinders of rice under Gaspar's arm until it arm, I was able to enjoy a pleasant repast and dropped off to sleep with a full belly

I awoke to what sounded like the entire Ro to slurp the anchovies out of the Mediterranean Sea When I opened my eyes I saw the source of the noise and nearly tue, furry creature, half again as tall as anyto slurp the tea out of one of the bamboo cylinders, but the tea had frozen to slush and the creature looked as if he ht suck the top of his head in if he continued Yes, he looked sort of like awhite fur His eyes were as large as a coith crystal blue irises and pinpoint pupils Thick black eyelashes knitted together when he blinked He had long black nails on his hands, which were si he wore at all were some sort of boots that looked to bebetween the creature's legs tipped me off to his maleness

I looked around at the circle of monks to see if anyone had noticed that our supplies were being raided by a woolly beast, but they were all deeply entranced The creature slurped again from the cylinder, then pounded on the side of it with his hand, as if to dislodge the contents, then looked atfor help Whatever terror I felt melted away the second I looked into the creature's eyes There wasn't the hint of aggression there, not a glint of violence or threat I picked up the cylinder of tea that I had heated on Nu that it hadn't frozen during my nap, so I held it out to the creature He reached over Joshua's head and took the cylinder, pulled the cork froreedily

I took the moment to kick my friend in the kidney "Josh, snap out of it You need to see this" I got no response, so I reached around and pinched my friend's nostrils shut To master meditation the studentsound and carip He was facing o

"What?" Josh said

I pointed behind hilory of the big furry white guy "Holy moly!"

Big Furry ju his tea like a threatened infant and e (But if it had been, it would probably have translated as "Holy Moly," as well)

It was nice to see Joshua's masterful control slip to reveal a vulnerable underbelly of confusion "WhatI mean whoI mean, what is that?"

"Not a Jew," I said helpfully, pointing to about a yard of foreskin

"Well, I can see it's not a Jew, but that doesn't narrow it down much, does it?"

Strangely, I see this much more than my two seave us the rules of the monastery, and ondered about the one that said ere not to kill a human or someone like a human?"

"Yes?"

"Well, he's souess"

"Okay" Joshua clihtened up and looked at Joshua, tilting his head from side to side

Joshua smiled

Big Furry s sharp canines

"Big teeth," I said "Very big teeth"

Joshua held his hand out to the creature The creature reached out to Joshua and ever so gently took the Messiah's sreat pawand wrenched Joshua off his feet, catching hi hi out

"Help," squeaked Joshua

The creature licked the top of Joshua's head with a long blue tongue

"He likes you," I said

"He's tasting me," Joshua said

I thought of how my friend had fearlessly yanked the tail of the deers with total calht of the tiers and froht of the kindness in his eyes that ran deeper than sea, and I said:

"Naw, he likes you" I thought I'd try another language to see if the creature : "You like Joshua, don't you? Yes you do Yes you do He wuvs his widdle Joshua Yes he does" Baby talk is the universal language The words are different, but theand sound is the same

The creature nuzzled Joshua up under its chin, then licked his head again, this tireen-tea-stained saliva behind on ?"

"It's a yeti," said Gaspar fro been roused from his trance "An abominable snowman"

"This is what happens when you fuck a sheep!?" I exclaimed

"Not an abomination," Josh said, "abominable" The yeti licked him on the cheek Joshua tried to push away To Gaspar he said, "Aer?"

Gaspar shrugged "Does a dog have a Buddha nature?"

"Please, Gaspar," Joshua said "This is a question of practical application, not spiritual growth" The yeti sighed and licked Josh's cheek again I guessed that the creature h as a cat's, as Joshua's cheek was going pink with abrasion

"Turn the other cheek, Josh," I said "Let him wear the other one out"

"I' to remember this," Joshua said "Gaspar, will he harm me?"

"I don't know No one has ever gotten that close to him before Usually he comes while we are in trance and disappears with the food We are lucky to even get a glimpse of him"

"Put me down, please," said Josh to the creature "Please put me down"

The yeti set Joshua back on his feet on the ground By this ti out of their trances Nu squirrel when he saw the yeti so close The yeti crouched and bared his teeth

"Stop that!" barked Joshua to Seventeen "You're scaring him"

"Give him some rice," said Gaspar

I took the cylinder I had waran scooping out rice with a long finger, licking the grains off his fingers like they were termites about to make their escape Meanwhile Joshua backed away from the yeti so that he stood beside Gaspar

"This is why you come here? Why after alms you carry so much food up the mountain?"

Gaspar nodded "He's the last of his kind He has no one to help hiather food No one to talk to"

"But what is he? What is a yeti?"

"We like to think of hiht live before he reaches nirvana We believe he is as close to a perfect being as can be achieved on this plane of existence"

"How do you know he is the only one?"

"He told me"

"He talks?"

"No, he sings Wait"

As atched the yeti eat, each of the monks came forward and put his cylinders of food and tea in front of the creature The yeti looked up fro only occasionally, as if his whole universe resided in that bamboo pipe full of rice, yet I could tell that behind those ice-blue eyes the creature was counting, figuring, rationing the supplies we had brought

"Where does he live?" I asked Gaspar

"We don't know A cave somewhere, I suppose He has never taken us there, and we don't look for it"

Once all the food was put before the yeti, Gaspar signaled to the otherinto the snoing to the yeti as they went "It is tio," Gaspar said "He doesn't want our company"

Joshua and I followed our fellowback the e had come The yeti watched us leave, and every ti, until ere far enough away that he becaainst the white of the mountain When at last we cli was out of sight, we heard the yeti's song Nothing, not even the blowing of the raing ofI had ever heard had reached inside of , but with stops and pulses like the h the valley The yeti held his keening notes far longer than any human breath could sustain The effect was as if soe cask of sadness down rief It was the sound of a thousand hungry children crying, ten thousand s tearing their hair over their husbands' graves, a chorus of angels singing the last dirge on the day of God's death I covered my ears and fell to my knees in the snow I looked at Joshua and tears were strea down his cheeks The othertheed as he looked at us, and I could see then that he was, indeed, a very old man Not as old as Balthasar, perhaps, but the face of suffering was upon him

"So you see," the abbot said, "he is the only one of his kind Alone"

You didn't have to understand the yeti's language, if he had one, to know that Gaspar was right

"No he's not," said Joshua "I' to him"

Gaspar took Joshua's ar is as it should be"

"No," said Joshua "It is not"

Gaspar pulled his hand back as if he had plunged it into a flae reaction, as I had actually seen the monk put his hand in flaimen

"Let hi it

Joshua headed back into the valley by hi not said another word to us

"He'll be back when it's time," I said

"What do you know?" snapped Gaspar in a distinctly unenlightened way "You'll be working off your kar beetle just to evolve to the point of being dense"

I didn't say anything I simply bowed, then turned and followed my brother monks back to the monastery

It was a week before Joshua returned to us, and it was another day before he and I actually had ti hall, and Joshua had eaten his own rice as well as ht to the plight of the aboins

"Do you think there were a lot of them, Josh?"

"Yes Never as many as there are men, but there were many more"

"What happened to them?"

"I's I see pictures in my head I saw that men came to these ht Most just stood in place and watched as they were slaughtered Perplexed by her into the mountains I think that this one had a mate and a family They starved or died of some slow sickness I can't tell"

"Is he a man?"

"I don't think he is a man," said Joshua

"Is he an animal?"

"No, I don't think he's an animal either He knoho he is He knows he is the only one"

"I think I knohat he is"

Joshua regarded me over the rim of his bowl "Well?"

"Well, do you reht from the old woman in Antioch, how they looked like little human feet?"

"Yes"

"And you have to admit that the yeti looks very much like a ht? Well, what if he is a creature who is beco a man? What if he isn't really the last of his kind, but the first of ours? What made me think of it was how Gaspar talks about hoork off our karma in different incarnations, as different creatures As we learn o Well, maybe creatures do that too Maybe as the yeti needs to live where it is warmer he loses his fur Or as the monkeys need to, I don't know, run cattle and sheep, they becoh many incarnations Maybe creatures evolve the way Gaspar believes the soul evolves What do you think?"

Joshua stroked his chin for a ht, while at the sa any second I'd spent a whole week thinking about this This theory had vexed , all of e to the yeti's valley I wanted so else

"Biff," he said, "that may be the dumbest idea you've ever had"

"So you don't think it's possible?"

"Why would the Lord create a creature only to have it die out? Why would the Lord allow that?" Joshua said

"What about the flood? All but Noah and his family were killed"

"But that was because people had beco, his kind have died out because they have no capacity for wickedness"

"So, you're the Son of God, you explain it to me"

"It is God's will," said Joshua, "that the yeti disappear"

"Because they had no trace of wickedness?" I said sarcastically "If the yeti isn't a man, then he's not a sinner either He's innocent"

Joshua nodded, staring into his now-empty bowl "Yes He's innocent" He stood and bowed tohe al "I'm tired now, Biff I have to sleep and pray"

"Sorry, Josh, I didn'ttheory"

He smiled weakly at me, then bowed his head and shuffled off to his cell

Over the next few years Joshua spent at least a week out of everyup not only with every group after al up into the mountains by himself for days or, in the summer, weeks at a time He never talked about what he did while in the mountains, except, he told me, that the yeti had taken him to the cave where he lived and had shown hi with the yeti, and although I didn't have the courage to ask him, I suspect the bond he shared with the snoas the knowledge that they were both unique creatures, nothing like either of theardless of the connection each ht feel with God and the universe, at that time, in that place, but for each other, they were utterly alone

Gaspar didn't forbid Joshua's pilgries, and indeed, he went out of his way to act as if he didn't notice when Twenty-Two Monk was gone, yet I could tell there was some unease in the abbot whenever Joshua ay

We both continued to drill on the posts, and after two years of leaping and balancing, dancing and the use of weapons were added to our routine Joshua refused to take up any of the weapons; in fact, he refused to practice any art that would bring harhting with swords and spears with a bamboo substitute At first Gaspar bristled at Joshua's refusal, and threatened to banish him from the monastery, but when I took the abbot aside and told him the story of the archer Joshua had blinded on the way to Balthasar's fortress, the abbot relented He and two of the older i that involved no offense or striking at all, but instead channeled the energy of an attacker away from oneself Since the new art was practiced only by Joshua (and so the way of the Jew

In addition to learning kung fu and Jew-dô, Gaspar set us to learning to speak and write Sanskrit Most of the holy books of Buddhise and had yet to be translated into Chinese, which Joshua and I had become fluent in

"This is the language ofour lessons "You need to know this to learn the words of Gautae when you follow your dharma to your next destination"

Joshua and I looked at each other It had been a long ti the e Routine feeds the illusion of safety, and if nothing else, there was routine at the monastery

"When e leave, master?" I asked

"When it is time," said Gaspar

"And hoe know it is time to leave?"