page16 (1/2)

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

We were twelve days into our journey, following Balthasar's meticulously drawn map, e came to the wall

"So," I said, "what do you think of the wall?"

"It's great," said Joshua

"It's not that great," I said

There was a long line waiting to get through the giant gate, where scores of bureaucrats collected taxes froatehouses alone were each as big as one of Herod's palaces, and soldiers rode horses atop the wall, patrolling far into the distance We were a good league back fro

"This is going to take all day," I said "Why would they build such a thing? If you can build a wall like this then you ought to be able to raise an arh to defeat any invaders"

"Lao-tzu built this wall," Joshua said

"The old master rote the Tao? I don't think so"

"What does the Tao value above all else?"

"Cos?"

"No, inaction Contemplation Steadiness Conservatism A wall is the defense of a country that values inaction But a wall imprisons the people of a country as o this way He wanted me to see the error in the Tao One can't be free without action"

"So he spent all that ti"

"No, not wrong Not all of it The compassion, humility, and hteous man, but not inaction These people are slaves to inaction"

"You worked as a stonecutter, Josh," I said, nodding toward the h inaction?"

"Theus about action as in work, it was action as in change That's e learned Confucius first - everything having to do with the order of our fathers, the law, manners Confucius is like the Torah, rules to follow And Lao-tzu is evenyou won't break any rules You have to let tradition fall sometime, you have to take action, you have to eat bacon That's what Balthasar was trying to teach me"

"I've said it before, Josh - and you kno I love bacon - but I don't think bacon is enough for the Messiah to bring"

"Change," Joshua said "A Messiah has to bring change Change coh action Balthasar once said toas a conservative hero' He ise, that old man"

I thought about the oldover the hills, then at the line of travelers ahead of us A srown up at the entrance to the wall to acco the Silk Road and it boiled withthe line

"Screw it," I said "This is going to take forever How long can it be? Let's go around"

A ate and ere standing in line to get through, Joshua asked: "So what do you think of the wall now? I mean, now that we've seen so much more of it?"

"I think it's ostentatious and unpleasant," I said

"If they don't have a naest that"

And so it caes the as known as the Ostentatious and Unpleasant Wall of China At least I hope that's what happened It's not on my Friendly Flyer Miles map, so I can't be sure

We could see thebefore we reached it Like the other peaks around it, it cut the sky like a huge tooth Below the h pasture We stopped there to rest and water our careet us and they e eyes and Joshua's curly hair as if ere gods that had been lowered out of the heavens (which I guess was true in Josh's case, but you forget about that when you're around someone a lot) An old toothless woman who spoke a dialect of Chinese similar to the one we had learned froe She traced the path up the er and it was obvious that the path was both too narrow and too steep to accommodate the animals

The villagers served us a spicy meat dish with frothy bowls of milk to wash it down I hesitated and looked at Joshua The Torah forbade us to eat meat and dairy at the same meal

"I'," Joshua said "I really don't feel that the Lord cares if ash down our yak with a bowl of milk"

"Yak?"

"That's what this is The old woman told me"

"Well, sin or not, I' it I'll just drink the milk"

"It's yak milk too"

"I' it"

"Use your own judgment, it served you so well in the past, like, oh, when you decided we should go around the wall"

"You know," I said, weary of having the whole wall thing brought up again, "I never said you could use sarcas my invention in ways that it was never intended to be used"

"Like against you?"

"See? See what I mean?"

We left the village early the nextonly some rice balls, our waterskins, and what little money we had left We left our three camels in the care of the toothless old woman, who promised to take care of them until we returned I would miss them They were the spiffy double-humpers we'd picked up in Kabul and they were comfortable to ride, but more important, none of them had ever tried to bite me

"They're going to eat our caone an hour before one of the on a spit"

"They won't eat the caoodness of hus

"They don't knohat they are They think that they're just tall food They're going to eat theet is yak"

"You don't even knohat a yak is"

"Do too," I said, but the air was getting thin and I was too tired to prove myself at the time

The sun was going down behind the mountains e finally reached the ate with a small hatch in it, it was constructed entirely of the same black basalt as the mountain on which it stood It looked more like a fortress than a place of worship

"Makes you wonder if all three of your i live in fortresses, doesn't it?"

"Hit the gong," said Joshua There was a bronze gong hanging outside the door with a padded drue that we couldn't read

I hit the gong We waited I hit the gong again And aited The sun went down and it began to get very cold on thethree times loud We ate our rice balls and drank most of our water and waited I pounded the bejezus out of the gong and the hatch opened A diate illue "What?" he said in Chinese

"We are here to see Gaspar," I said "Balthasar sent us"

"Gaspar sees no one Your aspect is dim and your eyes are too round" He slammed the little hatch

This ti until the monk returned

"Lethis hand out through the little port

Joshua gave him the drumstick and stepped back

"Go away and co," the monk said

"But we've traveled all day," Joshua said "We're cold and hungry"

"Life is suffering," theus in almost total darkness

"Maybe that's what you're supposed to learn," I said "Let's go home"

"No, ait," said Joshua

In the ate, huddled together to conserve warmth, the monk opened the little hatch "You still here?" He couldn't see us, as ere directly below the

"Yes," I said "Can we see Gaspar now?"

He craned his neck out the hatch, then pulled it back in and produced a small wooden bowl, from which he poured water on our heads "Go away Your feet areway"

"But"

He slaate,that ait There was frost in our hair oke the nextThe ht

"You are so stupid that the village idiots' guild uses you as a standard for testing," said the monk

"Actually, I'uild," I retorted

"In that case," said the o away"

I cursed eloquently in five languages and was beginning to tear atin the sky overhead As it got closer, I saw that it was the angel, wearing his aspect of black robe and wings He carried a fla bundle of sticks and pitch, which trailed a trail of flames and thick black smoke behind him in the sky When he had passed over us several ti a se across the sky: SURRENDER DOROTHY

I was just fuckin' with you (as Balthasar used to say) Raziel didn't really write SURRENDER DOROTHY in the sky The angel and I watched The Wizard of Oz together on television last night and the scene at the gates of Oz reate Raziel said he identified with Glinda, Good Witch of the North (I would have thought flying monkey, but I believe his choice was a blond one) I have to adh I don't believe I would have been singing about the lack of a brain In fact, a a heart, a brain, or the nerve, did anyone notice that they didn't have a penis a them? I think it would have shown on the Lion and the Tin Man, and when the Scarecrow has his pants destuffed, you don't see a flyingan errant straw Johnson around anywhere, do you? I think I knohat song I'd be singing:

Oh, I would while away the hours,

Wanking in the flowers, ,

I'd be gilding all the lilies as I waved about my willie

If I only had a schlong

And suddenly it occurred to h Raziel had always seemed to have the aspect of a els After all, Raziel was the only one I'd ever seen I leapt from my chair and confronted him in the midst of an afternoon Looney Tunes festival

"Raziel, do you have equipment?"

"Equipment?"

"A package, a taliwacker, a unit, a dick - do you have one?"

"No," said the angel, perplexed that I would be asking "Why would I need one?"

"For sex Don't angels have sex?"

"Well, yes, but we don't use those"

"So there are feels?"