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back on track

I thought about randparents, and felt the familiar rush of sadness I’d only had them in my life for a few years, but they’d been the best years of ht me what it was to feel loved, and they’d done their best to rebuild my trust and faith in people They’d passed away last year, so they wouldn’t be around to save me this time

I was going to have to figure this out on my own

Chapter 2 – Sasha

I curled my toes and felt the satiny s It was the only time reat escape from the reality of my life Not thatwas possible I didn’t have to be the successful, rich, well-put-together girl that everyone expected me to be I could be free, and I yearned for that freedom

Reality was such a drag

The reality was that I had parents who didn’t care that I existed, let alone feel any sort of pride in any of my accomplishments In their eyes, it was silly that I wasted my time in real estate My bank account was full, and I would never want for anything … Well, anything physical anyway Emotionally … My account was empty

As a child I’d been raised around the world I’d lived in glalaraduated high school, and I had enough clothes in my closet to dress the entire city My parents couldn’t understand why I felt the need to stay in this town and work Especially in so as blue collar as real estate

I had a feeling that I’d never understand my parents, and they’d never understand irl could ask for, and I was doing soh h to knohat men wanted when they saw me … or, at least, the me I let them see

I enjoyed theht I was cold when I brushed theot anted from each other in the interim

I , I opened one eye gingerly and turned my head

Oh, yeah … Sean We’d o when I’d sold him his house, and had hooked up a couple times It was time to let him know that our brief encounters had come to an end I always tried to be tactful, and I did tell hi, but so that Sean was beginning to get attached

He was a nice guy, and a pretty good lay I had no complaints But, he see ready to settle down He was about five years older than my twenty-four, shit, alht a four-bedroo to think about his future

He let out a soft snore, whichht he’d make someone a wonderful husband one day He was funny, and I was a little sad to let hio But I knew that soirl, someone like my friend Shelly, ould be happy to raise his kids and keep his hoirl

I never wanted to have kids

Ever

I know h ho I am to admit that I’m too selfish to have kids I want to live my life forkids into a fas, but there was more to life than money and clothes And since I was barely able to find those things for myself, how could I ever share them with a child

Some people wereto be fabulous parents Full of love and happiness And I was going to be the perfect Aunty I would spoil their kids and enjoy taking thes, then I would take theladly take on that role, but I would not be a good mother

I slipped quietly out of bed and walked naked to my bathroom It was equipped with all of the alass shoith multiple shower heads, a vanity, and rabbed my satin robe off of its hook I checked es off from under my eyes, then fluffed out my hair There was no reason not to look ive Sean the boot I had appearances to keep up

I opened the door and wason his pants

“Hey,” he said, his eyes crinkling at the corners when he smiled

“Hey,” I replied softly