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Courtney closed her eyes and began sobbing in earnest "I knew you'd say that," she got out between tears She began crying even harder, shaking her head at the same time The harder she cried, the harder she shook her head

Nick tried to take her in his arms, but she pushed his hands away and stood up to walk across the rooain She crossed her arms over her chest defensively "I love you" She saw pain and confusion in his eyes, so she tried to make him understand how much she loved him She took a deep breath and continued more softly, "I love the way you waited for me all those years I love the way you can't always hide your impatience I love the way you're so selfish about et to think of me first I love the way you are And I love the man you've become" She halted as her voice cut out and she licked her lips "But we can't be married I can't have the children that I know you want" She bit her lip and took a shuddering breath "I'll always love you, and I promise, I swear to God, that I'll love the children you'll have so the words out "And I promise that I won't make trouble for you II'll be happy for you," her voice cracked on a sob, "and for the woman you eventually marry"

With those words, Courtney turned and fled to her suite, locking the door behind her

Nick took a few stu steps backwards until he fell back on the sofa His head sank down into his hands and he let out a tortured, shuddering h? He'd known it had been bad for her, but why hadn't he seen exactly how badly the death of her parents had scarred her?

If he'd realized, if she hadn't hidden it so well, he'd have done things differently What, he didn't exactly know He should have seen that she needed professional help, that she needed grief counseling Maybe he should have hteen Then, at least, he could have held her every night, been there for her the last six years, giving her coed, that she wasn't alone, made her realize that she was loved

Her pain went so deep, it was alh in a way, he understood her logic

His scared, e to protect her unborn children She loved the thought of her future children sothem, just to protect them from the pain that she'd endured

This was an agony that she ht carry her entire life He suddenly saw her future the way that she was seeing it It wasn't soe the outcoet to know the joy of being a mother, and that made him so sad for her

But she couldn't hide one thing She wanted hih it seeht He never wanted to be free of Courtney There was no reason in the world she shouldn't have hi about his own loss It never once occurred to hiet to be a father All he cared about was Courtney's happiness and being with her Being there for her, as her husband, her lover, her protector, everything she needed For always

The fact that she'd actually stated that they couldn't be married almost annihilated him Thank God they were already married and she wouldn't have a choice in the matter Thank God they'd never had that particular conversation about children until after they'd exchanged the vows that would bind her to him forever

He sucked in a stabilizing breath and then another He could give up children if he had to Children, to him, were an added bonus that he could do without, if necessary There wasn't a chance in godda up Courtney

Nick kept his eye on Courtney's door but she never atteht

The next , her face looked drawn, but she was dressed for hen she e a cup of coffee as she walked through to the elevator "You going down?"

"Yeah," she said as she kept her eyes on the door

"I'll see you later, then"