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My eyes pop open as I suck in a deep breath, inghard-on

This isn't the first time I've dreamed of Gracen since she's come back into my life, but it's the first time it's causedMy head rolls on my pillow and I see it's al for a iving into this insanity, but ood and the dream is still too fresh I can still smell Gracen in my mind

My hand moves on my dick, slowly at first as I close my eyes and slip back into the memories of that drea off my mattress until I come on my stomach in a matter of moments

While h the wetness, considering the potency of the creamy white liquid It created Lilly, and I wonder how exactly Gracen got pregnant She'd been on the pill, and as far as I knew, had always been diligent in taking it

It never occurred to me before now to ask, and I doubt I will What does it ive Lilly back to happenstance

So I put it out of my mind and roll out of bed to take a shower I muse about hoell yesterday went between Gracen and ry and upset at first when I called theone by the ti person by nature While I have my dad's classic temper, what I didn't inherit was his ability to find peace They bothher poor choice, which is so I've yet to master

Even though my parents arm and open to Gracen, she chose to leave yesterday afternoon to give Lilly and her new grandparents soood idea, but I didn't like that she went out to look for an apartment for her and Lilly She seems resolved to the idea to move out, and this doesn't settle ith me

Of course, I've been nothing but unsettled when it co back into ht after Gracen ca I was relieved when she told us she hadn't seen anything suitable and was in good spirits as she and ether My dad, Lilly, and I atching a h I admittedly watched Gracen more than the TV

She see conversation as they e rolls My ears perked up when nancy and those first few precious years that we all missed out on

I wanted to be angry and waited for that flash and sizzle of rage over the re quite shaken over what I'd heard

For the first time, I realized I didn't justa new baby I missed all the hard shit too, which means that Gracen shouldered it all

"Hoas the delivery?" my mom had asked as they stood shoulder to shoulder at the counter while they stuffed spiced e leaves

"It was fine," Gracen had told her in a quiet voice, perhaps ht in the ement classes when I went into labor"

"You were still in school?" my mom asked in amazement

"It was about five days beforethat preventedto school," Gracen had replied I stopped watching thethat sucked was that I was an hour and a half froo to the hospital near the college It was all kind ofurgent"

My mom froze as she stared at Gracen "You were by yourself"

Gracen just shrugged and rolled another cabbage leaf "My parents got there as soon as they could"

Jesus, that had guttedthat

Hurt worse to hear how accepting of that Gracen seeht, I bet she felt it was probably her penance to go through part of that by herself

I'd forcedstomach I shamelessly eavesdropped and learned how Gracen took a week off from school after Lilly caht back to school so she could get that degree, functioning only on ht if she was lucky She kept a brutal schedule, leaving her parents' house in Wilkie at 6 AM to travel an hour and a half to school That et ready, but in reality she was up at 3 AM, because that's when Lilly usually got hungry for a feeding Gracen refused to let her parents feed Lilly at night with pu that it was not just her responsibility but her joy She would get out of classes usually by 3 PM and make it back home in time for dinner Then she devoted her ti when she was asleep She usually got to bed by ain the next day

I'd been fucking astounded

I was also asha the pregnancy, I would have been gone during a lot of that as an NHL player She would have been alone regardless, but I could have at least hired someone to help her out I could have at least had her with me so that I could have taken the burden so

After my shower, I head into the kitchen, where I findtable that separates it fro a pan that she'd obviously used to s in the center of the table sitting next to a plate of bacon

"Morning," I say as I walk in

I get srin from Lilly, who has her mouth stuffed full of food, and Gracen just keeps her back to me as she scrubs the pan It's not a snub atbecause she figures I was only offering it to those people at the table

Those who are inimportant

I walk into the kitchen and grab a coffee cup froht of the sink My shoulder is just inches froive her a bu"

She startles and shootsGet a plate and eat while it's hot"

"Did you eat yet?" I ask her

"No, I wanted to get this stuff washed up"

I set my cup on the counter and pull the pan out of her soapy hands "Go eat I'll wash this"