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"I am," I say automatically, and it's an absolute lie It co to the world that I'm okay, even when I'm not
He nods in understanding and gives ood"
Again, we stare at each other, both subed in aard silence that feels as thick as mud
"Well, I'et out of your hair," he says hesitantly, but then adds, "unless you need anything"
I can only shake etting ready to walk out ain This time on a polite note, which somehow seeer is
"Okay," he says softly, then turns toward the door I want to call him back, but my body won't move and I'm not sure even a squeak of distress could escape
Luc's hand grabs the door knob and I screao I'm pathetically weak that I can't voice my needs to him, but Lucas already told me that's what I was
He was so fucking right
Tears well up in my eyes, and just as the door starts to open and my heart starts to splinter down the middle so painfully it obliterates the pain in rowls and spins onas he snarls, "Fuck this shit I'ht now No, we're fixing this crap right now It's time to put up or shut up, Stephy"
I just blink at his in relief that he didn't walk out that door
In two strides, he's standing in front of lare of determination
"Cat got your tongue?" he says tauntingly, but it's notme to tell him to shut up, but he knoon't "Okay, I'll start first Here'sso ht Half the time I don't think I can breathe because I miss you so much I don't want to be friends with you, and I don't want a casual fuck I want you to let o out and get a ring and put it on your finger with superglue so it doesn't fucking coht now and curl myself around you until you recover from the accident I want to talk with you into the wee hours of thefor the rest of our lives because we have too much to say to each other to ever want to sleep And, Stephy, I swear to fucking Godif you just tell s even if ultimately you can't, I'll be happy with just that My world will be ive me that much of you"
Luc's words are so dynamic, so impactful, they completely destroy me and then build me up like I'm fortified with steel For the first time in my entire life, I feel empowered I feel worthy
I feel loved unconditionally
"Oh God," I practically moan as I lurch up from the armrest of the couch I stumble toward Luc and whimper "Oh GodjustOh God"
Luc's face pales with fear and his arms come out hesitantly as I fall into them "Stephy?"
"Oh God," I say again, this ti, and I know he hears it in hten securely around me "What in the hell have I done?"
"Stephy," he says, this time in admonishment
I shakeperson in the entire world, and I was the fucking duhts not to latch on to that"
"They weren't stupid--" he begins, rushing toout of his arms
"So fucking stupid," I castigate myself as I wave my hands around like a lunatic I look at him despondently and ask, "How could you want someone so stupid?"
I can tell when Luc's had enough of my pity party, because his lips curve upward in a s there, Steph?"
"I'nitude of lare
"Stephanie," he says softly, opening his arms back up to invite me into their safety
But I haven't earned that right yet
"I love you, Luc," I tell him truthfully The most truthful words I've ever spoken in , and I can't believe I was so afraid to admit that I'm just so sorry if it made you feel bad about yourself that I couldn't admit it You're the last person in the world I'd want to hurt"
"You didn't--"
"I did," I reaffir man lets me shoulder the responsibility of this because he knows I need to He ive me that
Stepping up to hih me as he leans into it
"I love you," I tell hiain, and it sounds even better this time "And I'm not afraid to love you I'm not afraid what that et hurt by you It's all so clear now"
My words drift away, along with aze, which slides off to the side for athe best of what life has to give me When I look back to Luc, I ado I just refused to give myself credit that I deserved it"
"But you do," he tells me
"Oh, I know I do," I say with a smile "Just as you deserve to be happy, and LucI'rateful it's me who does it for you"