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"Oh God," she wheezes with her hand against her chest She stumbles backward and sits down on the ar blankly at the carpet I wait for her to say so other than this silence that's actually so loud it hurts my ears

"Is that all you have to say?" I ask her quietly "Oh God?"

Her eyes co with fresh tears "I had a nice talk with your dad during the gao"

This, I wasn't expecting and I blink in surprise

"He toldI really already knew deep down," sheWhen you choose to do so, your heart and soul are behind it"

"That's right," I admit hesitantly

"You see," she says in a small voice filled with misery "A man like that, well, he needs the saives it her all and is willing to expose her heart and soul to do so"

She lets the words hang heavy in the air, and no a else She doesn't respond to those things I laid at her feet with great sanctity such as love,more, and that says it all

"I don't understand how having someone love and care for you can be so bad," I say, alive me an answer to make this all better

Her voice is flat and devoid of eives me a robotic answer A bullshit answer that she's told herself so h it wasn't byalone You can avoid the risk of pain, because by being alone, you are guaranteed no one can hurt you"

I know I' out onup before she ever really even tried

"Is that what you're going to teach our child?" I ask her in an icy voice "You going to teach that baby to put walls up and close itself off from others?"

Stephanie's face turns horror stricken "God, no," she gasps "How could you even think that?"

"Because you're fucking quoting that shit as your own personal doctrine to live by," I snarl at her "Because that's all you know, and you're too fucking scared to try for so better"

And that's the moment that I killed whatever chance I had with Stephanie, and I know that because her eyes go dead Her voice is whisper soft but utterly fucking dead "I'ives me

Our eyes are locked on each other, both of us battling to achieve things that aren't acceptable to the other Neither one of us able to fix what's now broken

"Where does that leave us?" I ask slowly

After taking a deep, stuttering breath, she says, "I think I need some space"

"I need you to be a littleto surge again because I' powerless

"I think for right noe just need to concentrate on this pregnancy and figuring out how to be parents," she replies vaguely

"So you want to just be friends again?"

"Yes," she whispers, and I see so flicker back to life in her eyes

Is that hope?

"I don't think I can do that, Stephy," I tell her fir a chance to still o backward, and besides, that's how the lines got blurred in the first place"

Fear flashes in her eyes before they go flat and devoid of anything again, and I know that was the wrong thing to say

"I know you care for ain "You're just too weak to admit it"

She doesn't respond, just stares at me with those dead eyes I wonder if that's how she looked at her parents, and I hatethat, but I also think I hate Stephanie just a little bit for not being strong enough to risk it

"Can you really just turn your feelings off like that?" I spit out at her, hoping to force some type of reaction

And I get one

It's a sardonic sret "Don't you get it, Luc? I don't have feelings Not the kind that would sustain what you need It's what I am Who I am"