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"Stephanie?" she snapped into the phone when I didn't answer "Are you there?"

I shook my head, came out of my daze, and asked her a question in return that I'd wondered about for years "Why didn't you abort me, Maris?"

She let out a huff of indignation that was completely fake "That's a terrible question ask your parent"

"No, it's really not," I said calmly "You didn't want me, so why even let me be born?"

"That wasn't an option," she scoffs

"Well, why not?" I pushed at her "Roe v Wade was settled law It was clearly legal It was an easy solution, and you seeh for me to consider So tell me, Mariswhy didn't you abort me?"

She didn't answer me and her silence sort of told me the truth Oh, she'd considered it, and considered it hard

I took a wild guess "It was too late, wasn't it? By the ti"

"I don't have to answer that," she said in the most profoundly suessed correctly

I did nothing more than quietly disconnect the call and knew I'd never answer another one froain

This also spurred me into action, and I shed the hopelessness and frustration over er needed

What remained underneath was tender, vulnerable skin, so I conjured up a suit of titaniuood at that

This isn't the first time I've lost a job, and I've always had confidence I'd bounce right back again And I always have The only thing different this time is I have a baby to worry about, which now her

So I've been sitting here at ure shit out How long can I afford to stay in this apartment? While I didn't h to pay s each month

What area job, especially with health insurance? I'd turned down the job in Greensboro because Lucas was my primary consideration I didn't think it was fair to cut hinancy

But now I'm not sure I can afford to take those considerations into ot to worry about the baby first, me second, and Lucas after that

At least I think that's the order It may have been different before that call from my mother, but that's definitely the order now I can't afford to be sentimental

A banging at ht And the fear doesn't let up either as so faster, but then I hear Lucas calling out, "Stephanieare you in there? If so, please open the fucking door"

I push up out of my chair quickly, my eyebrows furrowed at the panic I hear in Lucas's voice I run to the door and swing it open, catching a flash of the extreme worry on his face before it i relief He jerks me into his arms and mutters, "Thank God You're okay?"

His arkisses into le free of his hold, tilting my head back to look at him "Of course I'm okay Why wouldn't I be?"

"We were supposed to o," he says, and my eyes cut over to my clock It's now 7:30 PM

Looking back to Lucas, I tell him, "We didn't have dinner plans"

His eyebrows shoot up "Uhyes we did I sent you flowers at work, told you to meet me at Evo at 6:30 PM"

I purse"Aha Well, it appears you sent the flowers to the wrong place"

"What?" he asks in confusion as I step back to allow hi to call and text you Isn't your phone on?"

"It probably is," I say flatly as I turn to the kitchen "But it's in my purse in my room and I wouldn't have heard it, as it's on vibrate"

"Jesus, Steph," Lucas says in exasperation "You scared the shit out of me when you didn't show up at the restaurant and you wouldn't answer the phone I thought so happened to--"

"I'ht "We're fine"

"Then what's going on?" he asks again, this ti irritation in his voice, and he takes in the papers on my table "What's all this?"