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I sit doith a huff after placing averoom so I could come"

She grins at me and teases, "You really don't seem all that put out by it"

And no No, I don't

More andmy time with Lucas, which scares the shit out of me

We spent pretty ht we called our parents, all the next day and night at my apartment minus a few hours where he had practice and I did ood food, several s while he rubbed my back, and more awesome sex It was only ht at ly let me come meet Jules for coffee at her request

"So what's up?" I ask her curiously, and I note with genuine interest inhere with her Making baby steps, I think

I can see a flash of disappointossip about how things are going with Lucas, but then she puts on a happy smile "I think we should take your idea to put kids and the elderly together for a test spin"

My eyebrows shoot up "How?"

"I was talking to Annabelle's preschool teacher about your idea and she loved it One thing led to another, and she said they could easily turn that into a field trip Then I called the activities director at Sweetbrier and she also loved the idea and illing to host Annabelle's class for a visit"

My breath hitches but I force it out with an, "Oh, "

Jules nods excitedly "So can I tell them you're in? I'll put you in touch with both of them"

"Whoa," I say withfast and I don't know if I can handle it right now"

Jules tilts her head "I'll be glad to help"

"I don't know," I say dubiously, iven the fact ht now

"Oh, I won't take credit for it," Jules hastens to reassure round"

I roll my eyes at her "No, that's not it, and if I did it, I'd totally want your help if you're willing It's just"

It's just what?

The words won't co

"What are you afraid of?" Jules asks me softly, and my eyes shoot to hers

"I'm not afraid," I say tersely, because I' except perhaps intie at my own tone because it sounds so bitchy I soften my voice and smile at her sheepishly "SorryI like to pride estion I'o up Which is odd, because I've been nothing but afraid since Luc knocked me up"

Jules chuckles "He's pushing you out of your comfort zone, huh?"

"Way out," I admit, and then risk a sip of tea When I set the cup back down, I also ad, and it's not all so bad"

"Why are you hesitant about this idea of a field trip for Annabelle's class?"

I blow back er around s are so crazy right now I' to another city if I can't find another job I' me out, and wellthere's Luc"

"All that stuff is a piece of cake," Jules returns dryly with a wave of her hand "With the exception of Lucas"

She grins at me and I have to admitthat's funny, so I smile back

"It's just," I start, then stop, re I don't share

"It's just what?" Jules pushes at et it off your chest You'll feel so much better for it"

"Fine," I say with a

nother sigh--this one of defeat--and I let it out in a frenzied rush before I chicken out "I don't knohat's going on with Luc and me and I'm scared, and wellrees in the last feeeks and I sometimes feel like I' faster, and so me out, and I'm so confused But what's weird is I think I want more, and I think he does too, but I'm not sure because we don't really talk about those types of things, and the reason we don't is because I think he's being deferential to s because he kno fucked up I am in the head so he tries to protecton like an absolute maniac, but, wellyou asked for it"

Jules eyes are dancing with huet it Lucas is a phenomenal catch He's totally into you and it's so obvious"

I don't respond, holding my silence For her to understand my hesitancy, she'd have to know a lot more about me, and I've only ever shared that with Lucas I like Jules a hell of a lot Probably more than any other woman I've been casual friends with, except for maybe Simone, who is a hoot to be around Can I open myself up to someone else?

On the other hand, if I don't answer her question, I look like a total bitch, and I don't want to be that Jules is going to marry Max and become Lucas's sister-in-law, and in turn, become our baby's aunt She'll be in my life as well, and I don't want to have stilted relationships with these people

I take a sip ofthe cup down, I decide to ad that Luc is into me, as she says