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My dad just stares, see rooain to hide the fact they're slightly shaking

"Those cookies look great," Hawke says as he nods toward the plate in my dad's hands

"Want one?" lancemy shoulders and hold on to my silence

"Actually," Hawke says as he turns to aze wary and needful all at the same time "I need to talk to Vale"

"Okay," my dad says a little more exuberantly than needed He sets the plate of cookies down on the table "I think I'll just head down to the pub for a beer with the boys Give you two some privacy"

I don't say a word Not even a friendly reminder to rabs his coat fros it on He steps up to h on hiize"

I blink in surprise but give hiry at Hawke, and ainst him I just don't have it inBesides, Hawke carries enough of that for both of us

Once lances at the tree "It's nice"

"Yeah," I agree quietly "Dad wanted to get it up earlycelebrate, you know?"

Hawke nods and strokes his beard, cutting his eyes back over to o"

"Did she slap you?" I can't help but asking, because that would be so Avery

"Sort of," he says, and I cock my head in curiosity, but he doesn't make me wait for it "She told me you tried to call me after we broke up Sent an email Felt like a slap"

My jaw drops open and I narrow my eyes at him "You sound like it was a revelation to you"

"It was," he agrees somberly "And it had the force of a punch now that I think about it"

"You didn't know?" I ask incredulously It's not that I don't believe him, it's just that this now starts to make complete sense

"I didn't Not until about fifteen o"

"I don't understandhow?"

"I had lost ot a new one with a new number I never checked my email That shouldn't surprise you Got a new email, which I never checked either, but that's mootyou didn't have it so you couldn't have reached out that way"

Hawke never knew I tried to ht?

More i to hurt norant of it all

"No wonder you couldn't let it go," Iat him hurts a little too et it You really did think I cut you out completely Shut the door and never looked back"

"That's what I thought," he agrees, and takes a step toward s come into view and then I feel his hands on my shoulders

"Vale," he says softly, and I tilt my face up "I didn't know, but trust nored you Granted, I probably wouldn't have seen the eesplease believe me, I would have called back"

"I believe you," I say automatically, but take a step back from him His hands drop and he winces as if the distance hurts "But if you're here to tell s--"

"It changes everything," he whispers

"No," I say with a shake of er "It only reinforces thatenough"

"It h," he says with deterripsme a little closer "It may have been buriedeven shrouded so I couldn't see it, but it was there"

"No," I say in denial, refusing to believe that it could be so

"Yes," he says harshly, digging his fingers in reflexively "I was ignorant, stupid, whatever But don't tell me that it's not love Don't you dare try to tell ht"