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A feeling of utter loneliness sweeps throughall kinds of blue the last feeeks since I returned houlfs s--love, happiness, children--can exist for me without the one man that I want

The one o of our dark past and embrace the potential of our future

Fuck, he ry as much as he depresses me The man I love is still an asshole ants to conveniently lay all the blame for our relationship's deht up the fact that he's the one that ultimately turned his back when he wouldn't respond to my calls or email I should have thrown that in his face I should have done it just to see the chagrin and shame that would have mollified me somewhat the last few days

That's what I should have done, but honestly, it wouldn't have made o

Again

"Have you heard fro pan from the bottom cupboard

My head jerks up in surprise My dad and I haven't really talked about Hawke since we returned I didn't hide the truth of what happened I told him I laid my heart out there, but Hawke just wasn't in the sareed with the way I just gave up, but he understood how badly I was hurt and thus supported my decision to leave the Cold Fury

"Well, have you?" he presses

My face drops back down to the floor so I have ti tears "Nope Not a word"

"Maybe you should reach out to hiently "I meanyou two didn't really talk much about it You sort of made a unilateral decision to leave"

"It was the right decision," I protest angrily "I can't be with someone I love who doesn't love me back"

My dad's lips press into a syhter "Yeah, I know I just thoughtwell, I just thought you tere it for each other, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," I agree as I walk up to my dad I place my hands on his shoulders and look him dead in the eye "But I'll be okay Given time, it will all be fine"

"Yoo-hoo," I hear called out from the front of the house as the front door opens

"Back here, Avery," I call back I can hear Piper ju on the hardwood and then a distinctive ooine Piper just jumped on Avery

"Da," Avery says affectionately, and then she's walking into the kitchen with Piper hot on her tail While I don't question Piper's loyalty to me, there's no doubt she loves the woman who fed and cared for her the past few months

"Hello, hello," Avery says as she pulls her coat and hat off,

throwing theivingon to my dad With her ar teddy bear?"

Dad laughs, squeezes her back, and says, "Got a Christmas tree"

"So I saw," Avery says before shooting a wink atyou could build a tree house in it"

"We're having pork roast tonight if you want to come eat with us and help decorate," my dad offers

"I can't," Avery says "My parents invited us over for dinner tonight Oliver and Nina too My mom said she had a surprise for us, so you know I'm not about to pass that up"

"She probably just wants to give you her old china set or so," I remark dryly Avery's mom and dad have decided to retire down to Florida after Christ all of their personal effects on the kids

"I'll take it," Avery says as she opens the refrigerator and roots around, coh of our china pattern as wedding presents to feed one and a half of us"

"Maybe I'll buy you a piece of china then for Christmas," my dad muses as he unwraps the pork roast

"Don't you dare," Avery says aghast "I much prefer jewelry"

I roll hs "Duly noted, Av"

My dad opens the oven door and goes to put the roast in I don't say a word, but Avery doesn't hold her tongue "Daveyou know you have to preheat the oven first, right?"

My dad straightens and looks at her with confusion "I was just going to turn it on now"