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Todd wasn't happy about my decision to relocate, but I think he understood While we've been atte-distance relationship, the stresses that are piling on top ofmore than push Todd to the bottouilt on top of what I already suffer on any given day

"and I could probably swing next weekend," I hear Todd say

I push up from the bed, scrub my hand over my face "I'm sorrynext weekend?"

"To come visit," he says with hurt in his voice "Were you even listening to me?"

"Yes, of course," I lie, feeling another slice of guilt "Next weekend would be good It's the last free weekend I'll have before we start into preseason gaet really hectic"

"LookVale," Todd says, and I can hear resignation in his voice "If this isn't working for you"

"No," I exclaim quickly, and then soften my voice "It is It will We'llwith the Cold Fury But it will settle down, I promise"

Silence

A slight clearing of his throat

Finally, with some relief in his voice, "Okay, thenI'll fly in next Friday night and we'll make a weekend of it"

"I can't wait," I say, and I hate how I have to force enthusiasm in my voice

"And et a hotelso we could have some privacy," he says in a low voice "I really miss you"

I wonder if Hawke is still here Perhaps sitting back in the living rooe fra a little too perfectly

I give a vigorous shake toabout Hawke I focusht blond hair and kind brown eyes The say he kisses, and the gentle way he

Haasn't often gentle He could be, but he liked it rough and tumblejust like me

F-u-u-u-c-k!

My hand goes toto force hts to settle down

"Yes," I say quickly and with total focus on Todd and his sweet, romantic ways "A hotel rooether"

"Awesome," he says, and the relief in his voice is almost painful to me

"Okay, I'et to bed Five o'clock rolls around pretty early for me," I say softly

"All right, sweetie Take care of yourself Talk tomorrow?"

"Yes, toht"

I know et et someroo in his recliner and I can tell just froone

Dad angles his head and looks atsmile "Why were you so rotten to Hawke?"

I walk around the couch and plop down on one end Swinging , "I don't know It's just aard"

"You two have some air to clear," he says as his eyes slide back to the TV where a baseball game is on

I study my dad intently His face is still puffy from the last dose of steroids he took to control the brain swelling There are dark circles under his eyes because he's not sleeping well, but otherwise, he's doing relatively well

All things considered

Alo, Dad went to a doctor because of unrelenting headaches and blurred vision What we thought olf-ball-size glioblastoery, the remainder blasted with chemo and radiation He recovered and went back to work

But aited for it to co back

Borrowed ti under a shroud of dread

It cao