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"Okay," I say, taking the paper from her

"Did you take the Ativan as directed?" she asks as she flips open my chart

"Yesabout half an hour ago"

"Good, you should be feeling the effects of that," she says with a quick smile "The procedure is simple and quick"

I nod at her, my throat so dry that I doubt words would come out at this point

"Dr Yoffone

Stevie turns his back onthe paper sheet around me, I clihtly shaking, onto my lap I kick my feet back and forth nervously as I wait

"It's going to be fine," Stevie says as he steps next to the table and rubs my back

"Sure it is," I say with false bravado, and hate myself that my voice quavers

Moving in front of me, Stevie places his hands on my shoulders and leans in close "You are the bravest, baddest bitch I know You aoing to kick this cancer's assI just know it"

"Fuck yeah I am" His words make me feel immensely braver

"So, while we're waitingfill ht And I don't care about what you ate or what you talked about I want to know about the sex Lay it on irlfriend"

Snickering, I open ive him some minor details, but the door opens and I see Dr Yoff in, followed by the nurse

He gives aze rakes over Stevie in all his pink, sparkly glory He grins and offers his hand "I'm Dr Yoffman"

"I' to hurt her?" he asks as he shakeswith tears

"It won't be too uncoood I' to have you stand by her headyou can hold her hand through the procedure"

"Okay," Stevie says, his voice cracking

Dr Yoffh sos it up to his chest, folding his arms over it

"So, we got back the results of your blood work and CT scan already The CT scan shows an infla, so based on that and the syo ahead and start treating this as if it's a stage-four disease"

"Is that the worst kind?" I whisper fearfully

"Yes," he says as he throws the chart back down on the table Walking up to me, he reaches out and squeezes my shoulder "But like I told you before, this disease is treatable We have a good chance of knocking it into reo ahead and start treatment tomorrow"

"What does that mean? Start treatment?"

"I' to start you on a co, and bendaet both the Rituxin and bendaet another dose of bendamustine We'll do that treatment every four weeks for six cycles I'll do repeat scans at the halfway , and we'll do another bone-marrow biopsy after the sixth cycle, and hopefully we'll find it's in remission"

"And the side effects?" I ask quietly "I meanI know you said I wouldn't lose ht?"

"You ive you antinausea medication before the treatht feel poorly for a few days But then you should be fine"

"Anything else?"

"We'll monitor your bloodyou're anemic now, and I'll put you on some iron for that Because che, it could affect your white or red blood cell counts, but otherwise this treatment is fairly mild and shouldn't cause you too many problems"

Okay, that doesn't sound all that bad And he says that this will probably go into re a deep breath, I let it out slowly and smile at him

"All right I can do this So, let's get this show on the road while the Ativan is still working"

Dr Yoffhs and turns to wash his hands in the sink "That's what I like to hear Now go ahead and lie down on left your side Steviepost up by her head and hold tight on to her hand This won't be too painful, but I know it's all kinds of scary I'll talk you through the entire procedure"

I lay onthe paper sheet around me so as not to expose myself to Stevie Not that he'd be bothered by it, but he definitely wouldn't knohat to do with it either I snicker tothat

Stevie comes to stand nearht"

I rear up on the table and practically shriek at Stevie, "You assthat's not appropriate here"