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Micaela lowers hiain Unlike the last time I saw him, he’s able to hold his head up, and his eyes o to hisa pacifier into his mouth

“Want to hold hihtly, I can see the onesie he’s wearing is cae and reads, Some heroes wear capes, mine wears combat boots

A lurenade, blocks my airway Micaela has every reason to despise that part of my life, and I know she’s terrified of it, yet, while I was still in Afghanistan, she ht for her She dresses our son in outfits like the one he’s wearing now She’s been kicked down, but she still re

“Ryan,” she prohts

“Yeah,” I choke out, clearing my throat when the word comes out barely audible “Yes, please” I extend my arms and she hands RJ over to me

“RJ, this is your daddy,” she says softly, as if he understands her

His gaze locks withto cry But then his hands co on the short beard I have because I wasn’t able to shave for over a week He spits out his pacifier, and then his ure out what he’s doing, his drool-filled mouth lands on my nose

Micaela giggles “He’s giving you kisses”

I stand there, frozen in u down into my mouth—and thank God that I’m able to be here with my family

Ahis oing slightly cross-eyed as he stares intently atcurious he is

“Hey there, little guy,” I say, keeping my voice soft “I’ve missed you”

RJ answerson rants ht here on the back porch of Micaela’s parents’ house, my heart leaps out of my chest and into my son’s hands

“See,” Micaela says softly “He totally loves you”

“Dinner’s ready,” Marco calls over “Get inside, so we can feed you soood ol’ American cuisine

We all sit around the table, and Micaela offers to put RJ into his swing, but I’o of hiht, everyone gettingis better than over there and if I’ve gotten to take a hot shower yet I know they’re doing it for Micaela’s benefit, not wanting to bring up what happened, and I appreciate it

Eventually RJ gets fussy and Micaela excuses herself to grab a bottle When he was a couple h milk, and he was cranky all the time She made the decision to switch to for like a failure, and I hated that I couldn’t be here to comfort her

When she returns, she hands ive him up His heart-shaped lips form the cutest O as he dives for the bottle I watch hi every ounce down like he’s starving When he’s done, I lift him up to burp him, but he won’t stay still

“You don’t have to do that,” Micaela says with a laugh

Instead of eating, my attention stays on RJ, shocked and arown Four rowing The last tiy But now he’s gothi, breathing, little human

When dinner’s over, we hang out, bullshitting and catching up for a little while When RJ gets cranky, Micaela infor our goodbyes, we head home The ith RJ is quiet, both of us lost in our own thoughts I’h her head, but formy life withMicaela and I being intiet hoether I didn’t expect to come home to findthe hell out of her and convincing her to be with , but I don’t exactly knohere we stand and I’m afraid to ask Call me a coward if you want, but I don’t want towith my family