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Tanner clapped his hands onto his knees “Then I shall start at the beginning,” he said in soe accent I raised an eyebrow, not sure how to react to his brand of humor He looked down at the carpet and continued on, accent free “You and I have been together since ere in diapers If you take the shortcut, it’s only a five-minute walk between our houses Our moms were close, well, before yours decided that vodka made a better friend than people do We were in every class together growing up We used to pretend to get married in our fort ere little Another one of our friends used to pretend to be the reverend She even cut up one of her dad’s Hugo Boss shirts to rounded for a week, and after her parents told ours, the three of us didn’t see each other for the entire suhed nervously He rested his chin on the back of his hand and sighed “It feels really weird to try to explain us to you”

“I can assure you that hearing it is probably weirder,” I admitted

Tanner struggled, stopping and starting again, but he took a deep breath and continued, “We were fifteen when Sainally planned to wait to have…to be…physical, until we graduated” He looked pained, as he tapped his sneaker on the floor “But, then I got sick Real sick” He turned to face me “Leukemia”

I didn’t kno to react under the circuave him a small smile and said, “I’m so sorry”

He pressed his lips together then continued, “On the day they told raduation, weand stupid, but we said our own ht here in this roo on s, I felt removed from it Like it wasn’t partly about me

Tanner scratched his head and again looked through the open“I promised to always smash Cheetos into your sandwiches and you proone And then we…” he trailed off aardly, but quickly recovered, “…and then we e proud senuinely happy e’d done

And e’d made

“It’s a night I’ you’ll remember someday, because I may have been at death’s doorstep, but it was the by far the best night of my life,” Tanner finished He folded his hands on his lap and with his chin to his chest he looked up atfor my response

Unsure of what to say, I said the first thing that ca I still do,” I admitted

Tanner offered ht of what seeether, obviously weighed on him heavily “Are you still sick?” I asked

He shook his head “No Much to your father’s disnant I got accepted into an experiram in Colorado By the ti better every day I still have to take soone, and now they think I will live forever, like a va his eyes and sticking out his tongue

I bitif I should even atteue “Do you think I can see him? Sammy? Maybe spend some time with hi it would help Tanner say yes

He waved his hand through the air as if my question was a ridiculous one “Of course, Ray You’re his mom You don’t even have to ask” Tanner reached for my hand but just as it was about to clasp overit co it on his knee

“Now can I ask you a question?” Tanner asked

“Yes, it’s your turn,” I said

Tanner chewed on the tip of his thu with hiuing, like you tere…” Tanner trailed off

I didn’t want hi him to ask the difficult question, I volunteered the answer “King His na his name made me feel like I could breathe, yet, at the sa; a contradiction in every single way