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What the hell?
“Now, I’ and wonderful fa for you Do you even know everything Jackson did while you were incapacitated? How scared he was for you?”
I shook my head
“You’re a selfish little boy trapped inside the body of a frightened rew up and faced the facts So I ask you, Nathaniel What are you going to do about it?”
I dropped h the heart by the conviction of his words
Knohat I had to do, I reached for my phone and called Todd
“Todd?” I asked when he picked up “Can you give me some names? I need help”
Chapter Thirty-three
Todd worked his arded psychiatrist for the next day I returned ho time The hole in my heart was still there and it still ached, but just the freedoood
I walked into s I wasn’t ready for yet While Ibetter about myself, I knew there was much to do where my actions toward Abby were concerned
I threwon the phone “I have a flight scheduled for the day after to with Christine
He looked up as I walked in and winked at erator and pulled out a bottle of water I hadn’t had a drop of alcohol in alh my head still hurt like the devil, my vision and mind were sharper
Paul probably wanted privacy, I thought, so I started to leave the room, but he waved for me to stop
“When I get hohttime duty for a week?” he asked
Damn it I hated that my behavior had taken Paul away from his son
“Of course, love,” he said, laughing “As soon as I learn how to lactate”
The intiht about leaving and waiting for hi room, but I could tell the conversation was almost over
“Give my boy a kiss from Daddy” His lips curved into a sh
“I’ainst the countertop “Christine must hate me”
“She did say to fear for my life if I didn’t make it home soon”
I sat down at the table “Is that weird?”
“Is eird?”
I thought the question obvious “For your submissive to talk to you that way”
“She’s not my submissive twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week”
I shrugged “I just think it would feel strange”
“Because you haven’t done it”
“Maybe”
He raised an eyebrow “Are you ready for this? We can have this talk if you think you are”
“What talk?”
“I’ positively Even if you and Abby never work out, maybe one day you’ll find someone else”
“Dah ht now”
“Maybe not But if you’d been prepared, you s differently with Abby”
“I can’t i with anyone other than Abby, and I don’t think she’ll ever take me back”
“You said she loved you If that’s true, ive you a second chance”
It hurt too ht be at a place to work things out with Abby That she ht be at a place to talk to me Hell, at this point, I’d be happy if she’d just look at me one day Of course, we’d have to be in the sa likely
“Tell me how you two do it,” I said “Hoorks for you”
“We tried the twenty-four-hour, seven-days-a-week thing in the beginning, and I won’t lie—it was hard” He looked atmy reaction “It was hard for me because I never felt like she could be completely open and honest, and it was hard for her, because she never felt like she could be completely open and honest”
I thought back to the times I’d desperately wanted Abby to talk to ht of the black-tie benefit, how difficult it had been for her to tell me what kind of wine she wanted “I can see that”
“So ent to weekend play” He s orks for you What works for your sub to work at all I know people who play only once every feeeks” He shrugged “Again, it’s orks for you”
“And it’s never interfered with your e?”
“I’ht We still make up Is it work? Yes, but that’s life And it’s always changing We had to regroup when Christine becanant I’et back into the playroom, but that’s okay It’s orks for us And we love each other We hat the other person wants”
I shook my head “I don’t know There are a lot of people who think it isn’t BDSM if ros are involved”
He looked taken aback for a second, started to say so and then stopped Finally, he spoke “Usually, when someone tells me what Christine and I have isn’t real, I invite them back to my playroom so I can show them just how real it is But you’ve been in my playroom, so I won’t do that” He paused “My other reaction is to knock the shit out of anyone who dares to call my wife a fake submissive”
I held upwhat I’ve heard”
“I know, and you’ve had a rough week, so I’o easy on you” He sounded like he didn’t particularly want to go easy on me
“I appreciate that,” I said wearily “But what do you say to those who think you can’t call it BDSM?”
He leaned across the table and heldmatter what you call it?”
“What?”
“If you and your sub what you need physically, does itit with someone you have an emotional connection with?”
“But is it harder?”