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It would be theI’d ever done, but I’d do it for Abby
She sighed in her sleep and cuddled closer into ain—two more hours Two more hours to relish the feel of her in my arms
At six o’clock, I slowly extracted myself out from under her and settled her back on the bed I stood beside her and watched as she burrowed deeper into the covers
I brushed ainst her forehead and choked down the words I desperately wanted to say
Forget it You don’t have the right to tell her
But I shouted it in my head
I love you
I love you
I love you
I walked down to the kitchen and put on the coffee Not because I wanted any, but because the normal, everyday act calmed me I took Apollo out the front door and into the yard My yard crew had been by the day before and had cleared away thebanks of snow, so Abby should be able to make it home
The paper had even been delivered I took it inside and sat at the dining rooe for half an hour before realizing I hadn’t read a word I closed my eyes and focused on what I needed to do, what I would say
Not much later, I heard the sound of her feet overhead I listened as she walked down the hallway, and then, seconds later, descended the stairs She would go to the library first Most s the past week, that here I’d startedthat was hers
She was closer now I heard her in the kitchen Her footsteps stopped She would be in the dining rooe and pretended to read
She was seconds away from me
“Hello,” she said from the doorway
I closed my eyes Show time
I turned down one side of the newspaper “There you are”
The sight of her stunned htly disheveled, lips full and swollen I wanted to drop the paper, take her in my arms, and kiss her into oblivion
“I was just thinking that you should be able to make it home today,” I said
Her forehead wrinkled “What?”
I set the paper down “The roads are clear You shouldn’t have any trouble getting to your apartment”
The wrinkle deepened I could see her trying to work out what I was saying “But ould I go hoht”
I focused on the spot in between her eyes “About that I’ll be at the officeout from this storm It would probably be best if you didn’t come over this weekend”
It was a lie I had phone calls tothat would keep me busy all weekend
“You have to come home at some point,” she said
“Not for any length of tiail”
She sucked in a breath as if I’d punched her “Why did you call me that?” she whispered
“I always call you Abigail” The words just came out I was dead inside
“Last night you called me Abby”
Last night
Oh, God
I braced myself
“It was the scene”
“What do you mean?” she asked
“We switched” I’d thought the lies would be easier as I told them, but they were not Each one struck my heart and killed part of me as it came from my mouth “You wanted me to call you Abby”
“We didn’t switch”
Blackness Blackness and death consumed me “We did It hat you wanted when you came into the library with the candy”
“That was inal intention,” she said, and I knew she was nowhere near giving up “But then you kissed ht”
End it Now
I slipped htly as I could
Do it
I took a deep breath “And I have never invited you to sleep in mine”
My words hit their mark Pain rippled across her face “Fuck it Don’t do this”
“Watch your language”
“Don’t fking tellto pretend last night didn’t ” She balled her fists “Just because the dynaed doesn’t s So what? We ether”
“Have I ever lied to you, Abigail?” I was lying now Just calling her Abigail was a lie But I inning The dae had been done Soon now Very soon
She wiped her nose “No”
“Then whatnow?”
“Because you’re scared You loveyou But you knohat? It’s okay I’m a little scared too”
“I’m not scared” Another lie “I’ht you knew that”
Her eyes closed and her shoulders sagged It was over She’d given up easier than I thought she would, but in the end, it was probably better that way
I saw her deterain
The collar fell to the table with a metallic clink “Turpentine”
The words I read weeks ago echoed in my head
Turpentine
Turpentine in a fire
I saw them all consumed
Chapter Thirty-two
I had planned it I’d anticipated it Still, there was so the collar and the way it looked so broken as it lay on the table
I couldn’t takemyself to look at Abby with a bare neck
She’s not yours anymore